11.21.2004

I think it was a date

There was flirting. He bought the movies tickets and paid for dinner. I offered to pay him for my ticket but he wouldn't take the money. I picked up the check at dinner but he took it from me and asked if I could pay the tip because he didn't have enough ones. I didn't fight with him over money because I think that's tacky and rude. And I liked that he wanted to pay for me. That meant it was more likely to be a date or that he had date-type feelings for me and, as much as my feminist self hates to admit it, it's one of those perks of being a girl. It made me smile, not because I care about the money but because it makes me feel kind of special. It feels like the man is so pleased to have my company that he wants to pay for me as a gesture of thanks. And that feels very nice.

However, I still can't take that as a sure sign of a date because several of my male friends pay for me that same way. It's not unusual for me to go out to eat with a friend, we get the bill, I get out my wallet and ask to see the check, the guy tells me he'll get it this time if I get the tip. My sister thinks those guy friends paid because they want to date me. I don't agree. But, this was not the only evidence of dateness.

During dinner he said something that sounded accidental. I think he said "You are so adorable." He kind of mumbled it and then seemed embarrassed. I smiled and looked down at my plate of food, home fries are ugly. Later, I commented on how I hate sitting next to mirrors. Then he started looking intently into the mirrored wall, I said "I see you don't mind them at all." He said, "I'm looking at you." "Oh." So I turned and looked back at his reflection for a second or two.

We got a little cozy in the theater. They had those make-out seats with the arm that you can raise or lower. We didn't lower the arm between us. Our shoulders touched each other for the duration of the film. I'm a movie talker. So I leaned over to him and whispered in his ear several times. He's a movie talker too but wasn't quite as whispery about it and I think we pissed off the people around us. The movie was silly and we both kept guessing what would happen next and had to tell each other about it so we could show off our smarts. We also made fun of the film a few times, or lots of times.

But, we are both geeky and shy. So nothing major occurred. As proof of our shared geekiness, he about peed his pants when they showed the preview to Hitckhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It was really cute, he asked me if I'd see it with him. I pretended to be excited too, even though I tried reading that book a few times and could never get through the first chapter. (He doesn't need to know that.) But then I got very excited for the preview of a fantasy film adapted from a book series and he got excited because he knew the author since she also writes sci-fi. Then he told me he doesn't like fantasy but she's a good writer. We got into a discussion of fantasy versus sci-fi. I love the former and like the latter a lot but not as much. We decided that the difference is that fantasy is too fantastic such that there is no possible world where these things could happen but with sci-fi the possibilities are very real. (This is why philosophers should not procreate with each other.)

Despite the ultra nerdiness some things did happen. He touched my arm or leg a few times I think. And one time when I turned to whisper to him he turned towards me and our foreheads touched. Near the end of the film we were fake crying and he put his finger up to my cheek to wipe off a fake tear. It was sweet. I'm actually going to make myself gag in a second. But he walked me to the subway and made me promise to call him when I got home. He said, "Because I'm old and I'm Jewish and I worry about you."

Overall, I had fun and he's very cute. I'm fairly certain that it was indeed a date. We'll see where this goes. I'll call him soon, he seems to respond enthusiastically when I make an initial gesture. And then, I don't know.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Why am I the first to comment on this post?!?!?!

IT WAS TOTALLY A DATE!

..and don't worry about who he was meeting at home or had to call. Could have been family, roomates, guy friends, whatever. If he has a girlfriend then he WOULD NOT have hung out with you on a weekend night. (unless he's a total scumbag)

You can fitx it, don't worry.  

Message from Jill

Anonymous said...

You beat me to it, Jill. ^_^ I was reading while you were commenting.
You saw a trailer already for Hitchhiker?! Man, you're lucky! I've been waiting for that since I first heard they were doing a movie. (Shows you how much of a geek I am, huh? ^_^)
But back to the subject at hand. It sounds like it was a date to me. I think he likes you, and I hope it goes far. 

Message from Sister T

Anonymous said...

I agree with sis.

And I'm relieved that my strong intuition that he indeed wanted it to be a date turned out to be true.

What movie did you guys see, anyway? 

Message from Kevin Barney

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

... but my recent experiences have made me more than a little wary. Oh yeah... and I did finally read that book "He's Just Not That Into You," so I'm jaded on all sides. But, here's what I think anyway.

Trying to figure out whether it was a date or not is pretty pointless. What you know for certain is that it was a pleasant evening where you both enjoyed each other's company. That's a nice memory to carry with you. Trying to read into things is only going to frustrate you. I do believe guys approach dating rather simply. (No offense guys. I'm not saying YOU are simple.) Going by what recently happened to me, I would say they don't see anything as official until it is verbally expressed. I mean, we all know those guys who can sleep with a girl and then throw up their hands in confusion over why she built any expections on it. In your less extreme circumstance, I don't think your guy is sitting around wondering "Was it a date? Was it not a date?" That's not to say he isn't interested in you. I'm just saying that time will tell.

I don't think you should make the next move. If he's interested in you, he'll ask you out. If he saw your evening as a date and wants more of it, he'll ask you out. It's only fair, after all. It's his turn. 

Message from TC --a.k.a. Kwirki Girl

Anonymous said...

Woops... previous comment was supposed to be headed "Sorry to be a skeptic..." 

Message from TC again

Anonymous said...

If you don't like reading HHGTTG, then you really should try listening to the original. It started off as a BBC radio play.

Why do you worry about the status of the evening. You went out, you had fun. Why not take it for what it was rather than wondering if it can be labelled as a date or not.

Also, his phoning someone in front of you was to guage your reaction. If he was hiding something or being dishonest, he could so easily have not done it in front of you. Beware the man with tests! 

Message from bbm

Anonymous said...

Me thinks you analyze too much! But I know where youre coming from and agree with kwirki girl the ball is in his court.I have to tell you about an unbelievable situation my daughter ran into. a cute guy in a car flirted with her in a convenience store parkking lot, you know smile, wave, he was pulling out , she was pulling in. He left, but came back saying he had to meet the girl with the fabulous smile. they talked from their cars and he gets her number. He calls,"we should hang out" My daughter says "yes we should", He says "come down", meaning provo, we live in S.Lake. She responds "I 'm really tired, stayed up late for a test yadayada.You come up here" he says I hate to drive all the way up there when I'm not sure I'll like you(!!!!) What do you mean!? Well, I only saw you from the shoulders up and... My daughter asks, sarcastically, " how do I know I'll like you!?" Oh, YOU WILL he says emphatically. my daughter responded, "I'm already sure I don't!" hahahah the NERVE!! We had a good laugh at that one! I feel for you firls, seems worse than "the old days"  

Message from Hannah tycc

Anonymous said...

Thanks all,
I'm not wondering if it was a date or not, it basically was and you're right the label doesn't matter. I guess what I'm wondering is if he wants more from me and what I should do now, I really did say something on the phone that he could have taken as a shoot-down. 

Message from JL

Anonymous said...

ring him!!!!!!! 

Message from val

Anonymous said...

He bought you dinner and a movie. He now cosmically owns your soul. 

Message from Jason

Anonymous said...

Do you have his e-mail? E-mail can help you recover from a host of social faux pas, and you're a writer, fercryinoutloud.

If you do have his address, e-mail him a note saying you're sorry if you came across snarky on the phone, and that you had a really great time, and thank him for a fun evening.

Then the ball's in his court.

My .02, worth what you paid for it... 

Message from Ann

Anonymous said...

I called and we chatted and it's all good.

Jason, is that all my cosmic soul is worth? 20 bucks? Yow, I must have sold my soul dozens of times by now. 

Message from JL

Anonymous said...

Did I miss it, or did you completely avoid telling us what movie you went to see?
Stupid movie with a hhgtg preview- I am guessing National Treasure which I saw earlier tonight. I didn't think too poorly of the movie- however, few things do more to help a movie than low expectations going in.

The preview did make me and many of my nerd friends with me absolutely giddy- none of the girls with us seemed to get the reaction. Ah well. 

Message from Mike

Anonymous said...

Only $20? In NYC? I take it back. It is merely soul rental with the option to buy.  

Message from Jason

Anonymous said...

Definitely a date, and let me add -- that guy is SMOOOTH. Some very nice touches that show he knows women. "I'm looking at you"? Very nice! 

Message from Steve Evans

Anonymous said...

Sure sounds like a date to me! But I too understand what an overly analytical soul thoroughly dipped in skepticism will do to a woman. I finally had to make myself stop reading between the lines and just take things at face value and enjoy what it all has to offer. Keep it simple, when its time to get complicated it will happen on its own without your help, trust me! :)  

Message from Ammie

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Crap, I tried to delete my last comment to change something but I can't from the school pc. commenting/blogging between classes on an empty stomach is never prudent. I wanted to delete what I said about the phone thing, it doesn't matter and it probably was just a phone call he had to make because someone was waiting to hear from him, that's all. And even if it was something more than that it doesn't matter. It just really unnerved me that night because it is unusual date behavior. It's signifigance ends there.

However, bbm's comment up there about it being a test intrigues me, not because it matters in this case, just that I didn't think guys did the test thing. I ask you readers, do they? Um, nevermind I'm going to make a post about this I find it so curious. But you can still comment here if you want.

Hannah, that is a disgusting story of the hideous arrogance that many women have to put up with. Was the guy LDS? Why can't there be a happy medium between dysfunctionally timid and disgustingly arrogant? The man with confidence who isn't arrogant or obnoxious. Single men, that is what women want it's soooo sexy. Confident but nice at the same time. I know that's a hard combination to maintain in the dating life. Men: what is the female equivalent of the arrogant man?  

Message from JL

Anonymous said...

Guy tests and guy manipulation are usually so close most women can't tell the difference or see them as guy stupidity.... 

Message from Steve M (Ethesis)

Anonymous said...

It was a date! And it sounds promising, although I think the phone call thing was a bit on the odd side. A guy you can have the sci-fi/fantasy discussion with is a keeper!  

Message from Shelley