tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66793552024-03-13T23:50:25.257-04:00Celibate in the CityMisadventures of urban life and dating for a Mormon woman living in Gotham. She's single! She's sexy!....She's celibate. These are her stories.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger271125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-45925516378187882042011-07-05T13:48:00.002-04:002011-08-04T12:15:24.171-04:00Letter to LDS Singles*This was written by a friend of mine who wanted to get this message out. --JL
To Whom It May Concern: &City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com39tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-89231517720183585682011-06-14T22:32:00.000-04:002011-06-14T22:32:39.189-04:00I feel better today. Not for any good reason. Nothing has changed. I'm still in the exact same circumstances as yesterday. My bi-polar mood switch flipped in the night. I actually smiled at people today. And I got my grades submitted on time. Yay, me.
This has been the pattern for the last two years. Under the extreme duress of my dire circumstances, I'm taken to the very edgeCity JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-77570096676940734932011-06-13T16:20:00.001-04:002011-06-13T16:29:51.313-04:00I'm not doing well. I hung in through the end of the semester and hoped and prayed for the best. I hoped that I would get summer classes or that my lawsuit would settle in time. Neither of those things have happened. There's no more unemployment. There's nothing. I'm scared.
I may have to move back to Florida to live with my parents. The shame of that makes me want to vomit. I City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-35722062936545891392011-05-18T17:13:00.004-04:002011-05-18T17:30:33.979-04:00On and On AgainSo. My life won't be changing any time in the next year.
Of the 3 schools I applied to:
PhD 1 said No.
PhD 2 said Yes, but it was too late for funding. There's no way I can go to graduate school in London without funding. The reason there was no money left for me? They said something went terribly wrong on their end and they don't know why they didn't review my City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-38366140337768091992011-04-05T12:18:00.000-04:002011-04-05T12:18:52.574-04:00Songs of the Moment
Parts and Labor: Nowhere's Nigh.
Favorite song from last year. A band out of the Brooklyn scene. The trend is to play synthesizer a la 80s New Wave with punk guitar and rhythms. Also, very reminiscent of 90s Shoegazer music. It's the perfect combo and makes me very happy. Hooray for the death of Emo music!!!
Warning: The songs below are not happy. They make City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-85454715334797138202011-03-12T10:13:00.001-05:002011-03-12T10:38:25.998-05:00Happy Birthday to Me!The big 3-5 today! Yipee. Funny thing is turning 34 was more of a crisis. It messed me up for a month. I guess I got it out of the way.
This is the year I am changing my life. I can not keep living this way. I have to stop the unstable seasonal employment without benefits. And I can't live with my unfinished doctoral work hanging like a millstone on my neck. I have to let it go. I can't City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-43495018106261818852011-03-04T10:52:00.001-05:002011-03-04T11:13:44.590-05:00Closure 2My closure is progressing. I have passed the crisis point I reached last week. [I also needed to deal with my feelings because one of the gentlemen pursuing me returns from the west coast this month. He already asked me to go out with him when he gets back. He is a good prospect (not Mormon), if he loses the ponytail.]
I wrote a closure letter to xbf last week, it's mostly an apology. I worked City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-63505018211646650352011-03-03T14:00:00.001-05:002011-03-03T14:15:45.187-05:00Radio SongMany of you know that music is very important to me. I am very picky.
I found the best radio station I've ever heard. NY Public Radio broadcasts their morning show, John in the Morning, from 9-1 EST. It's a Seattle station. They generally play independent/alternative/punk/new wave songs. Old and new. From 1977-now. I wholeheartedly endorse the John show. The DJs program their own playlists, City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-29683491518113022962011-02-25T19:53:00.007-05:002011-03-04T10:53:35.625-05:00Closure.I've suffered through some anniversaries lately. It brought back the pain of losing my xbf all over again. The one year anniversary of our first break-up, Valentine's Day when we had our first fake friendship non-date that ended with a lot of kissing and ultimately disaster. Even the Egyptian revolution tortured me with memories. (There's a story behind that.) I never City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-38252237614949555192011-02-11T14:56:00.000-05:002011-02-11T14:56:42.967-05:00Catching Up 2011I have a lot of things going on in my mind these days. That's what happens when my mood stabilizes or goes manic, whichever. (I got back on meds in December). When that happens it feels like I am waking up from a hazy sleep, from not being fully alive -- a sort of sleepwalking. It's creepy. And stressful, because when I wake up I have to clean up the mess I made by City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-82307672418646105182011-01-25T14:41:00.003-05:002011-01-26T12:30:01.065-05:00Another discussion of 'Where's my Op-Ed piece'-- or harmful sexSavvy Single Christian continues our discussion on her quality blog HERE
By the way-- the woman who wrote the Op-Ed got a book deal about finally giving it up. Ahem . . . so I am not having sex AND have no book deal. There is no justice.City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-77556973888339758392011-01-24T15:13:00.000-05:002011-01-24T15:13:04.567-05:00The missionaries stopped by . . .After writing my last post. I decided it was time for me to pray to see if I should or could leave the church --Maybe it just isn't for me anymore. I felt good about that, it felt like the right thing to do. But that is not a casual prayer, I wanted to wait. I would wait for Sunday and fast, if I still had the guts to do it by then.
Saturday morning I woke up feeling a bit forlorn. (Not City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-8828928111979247312011-01-21T22:56:00.006-05:002011-01-23T15:23:30.858-05:00Where's my Op-Ed piece?!Read this, if you can stomach it. I just found it while checking my traffic stats. Although, it says nothing new. It's also 2 weeks old, ancient in blogosphere time.
http://bycommonconsent.com/2011/01/12/the-value-of-shame-in-mormonism/
A woman wrote an Op-Ed piece for the NY Times about being 35, and a single, celibate Mormon. Then she explains why she is giving up the law of chastity. I didn'tCity JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-85370963448173663502011-01-04T23:26:00.001-05:002011-01-23T15:10:44.630-05:00Dear Celibate: Advice for a 24 y.o.Dear Celibate:
I am 24 years old, almost 25, and am a recent convert to the Church. I live in the NE, where there aren't many members. This summer though, I am moving to Arizona where there are lots of singles (hopefully my age?). I recently had a very hard break up to a guy that I was supposed to marry. It has been very tough for me, but I am starting to move on and City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-32269569423104562482010-12-08T00:19:00.003-05:002011-01-23T15:01:27.182-05:00Dear Celibate: The Wrong Compliment
Dear Celibate,
I met a really attractive and intelligent woman at a party a few weeks ago. It was a public event at an art gallery. She was a high school teacher in her early thirties (I'm 27) and seemed very educated and sophisticated. She had classic curves - large bust, narrow waist, shapely legs/hips, etc., but not what I would consider&City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-85779058199712252432010-11-14T01:34:00.001-05:002011-03-04T10:54:47.607-05:00It's Not You, It's Me . . . No. Maybe it was Really YouIn response to my 'Someone please explain' sob story post, I got two insightful emails. I didn't want to be greedy and keep the wisdom all to myself. Both emailers gave me permission to post their thoughts. So I have included them here. This is somewhat of a mish-mashed guest post. (With some edits to their words, I hope they don't mind.)
I. A long-time reader and blog friend, City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-16961947112009534232010-11-02T15:40:00.001-04:002010-11-05T21:24:42.377-04:00Procession of Ghouls at St. John the Divine CathedralHere's a video of the event. This was last year's.
I love New York.
City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-56807712607362560762010-11-01T16:12:00.006-04:002011-03-04T10:56:27.914-05:00Halloween on 68th and LexHalloween is one of my favorite holidays. Especially in NYC, it's crazy fun. Last year's Halloween was epic. And, at an event on the 30th-- a showing of Nosferatu accompanied by the organ at St. John the Divine followed by a parade of ghouls-- I met my last ex-boyfriend. He happened to be a successful horror novelist, and the poetry of our meeting was not lost on either of us. After the event,&City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-89254850805354411042010-10-21T14:07:00.001-04:002010-10-21T14:12:54.387-04:00Double Standard 2: Guest Post John Silva of Single Mormon Male blog left this comment to The Double Standard post. I invited him to submit a guest post and he has. I appreciate having a young man's perspective.
JL asked:
"What I wonder, is if single LDS men have a reversed double standard? Are they more selective with mo'women than they are with non-LDS women? They're probably less likely to date outside theCity JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-66691443214421188702010-10-13T18:31:00.011-04:002010-10-15T15:53:33.229-04:00"Maybe in the Next World"From Elder Boyd K. Packer's talk "Cleansing the Inner Vessel" at the Fall 2010 Conference:
To be entrusted with the power to create life carries with it the greatest of joys and dangerous temptations. The gift of mortal life and the capacity to kindle other lives is a supernal blessing. Through the righteous exercise of this power, as in nothing else, we may come close to our Father inCity JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-15740733180530712332010-10-04T14:34:00.009-04:002010-10-05T13:13:13.183-04:00The Double StandardUntil very recently I practiced a gross double standard when it came to men. I'm not talking about the difference between Jimmy Choo shoes and a pair of Kenneth Coles, more like Jimmy Choo to Payless Shoes. Regular men needed to be of Jimmy Choo quality while Mormon men only needed to be shoes.
For regular men, here is what I wanted: Educated, attractive, fun, intelligent, good taste, sane, andCity JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-15630391671231799532010-09-27T20:17:00.003-04:002010-10-01T22:36:01.765-04:00Kafka-esqueHas anyone else read The Castle by Kafka? It was an unfinished novel, which, if you've read it, you know how ironic and true the incompleteness is in itself. There was no way to end that book. That was the whole point, the endless frustration of modern life and bureaucracy, the meaninglessness of ambition which will never be fulfilled. . . how the pointless striving can steal City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-65122235253507945862010-09-23T20:39:00.003-04:002010-09-23T23:06:45.692-04:00sand & seaAbout a month ago, during a massive mood swing up out of my June-July depression, I decided I should get out of my head. First, I probably should get out of my house. Why? Because.
Today, I had an interview for one of the volunteer jobs I wanted. I applied in August with resume, references, and a cover letter. (This is NYC, nothing is easy.) It's near City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-44234930119475492342010-09-21T14:36:00.010-04:002010-09-22T18:43:52.132-04:00BreakingSunday, I was too sad to go to church. The very thought of going made me cry. But, my friend needed me to watch her infant while she worked in the nursery. So I went. The sacrament hymn was something dour and awful about the angels weeping for the savior's pain. I started crying and couldn't stop. I made it through sacrament and the first short talk by keeping my head down and sucking on City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-51236835114305264232010-09-14T15:24:00.006-04:002010-09-17T15:22:06.805-04:00Sweet Single LIfe (Re-run)I wanted to lighten things up around here. This is a re-run from 2005. I'd like to see what readers enjoy about their single lives, so leave a comment and let us know.
These are things that give marrieds reason to envy singles. Here's a happy list of non-sucking things in my life that I may possibly miss if I ever get married: (In no particular order)
I answer to no one.City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com5