I should be getting ready right now. I'm meeting him at 5:30 in downtown Bklyn. This is one of those "I don't know if this is a date or a friendly outing" thing. Ugh. How this came about is that he called me this afternoon to see how I was doing. I told him I was doing fine. He said that was all he wanted to know and he had nothing else to say. So before he hung up I said, "Do you want to hang out?" --Oh baby, I'm completely cringing at my own clumsiness. Anyway, he said "yes" despite my lack of cool.
Now is when the ambiguity and messiness comes in. I did the initial asking out. But then he said yes and took over by making it specific. He asked me if I wanted to hang out tonight, or did I have plans already? I didn't have plans so I said tonight was good. He said tonight was good for him too so we should hang out. But he wants to do it kind of early, if that's ok. Yes. Ok. He'd call me in a few hours so we could make plans. Ok.
He just called and told me has decided on what we should do, but we don't have to do it if I have another idea or if I don't want to. He wants to go to a movie because he hasn't been to the movies in 6 months. I said a movie is good. Then he said we should get some dinner either before or after the movie. Because people need to eat and we're people. I agreed. He was very cute about it too, constantly peppering the conversation with statements like, "unless you are opposed" and "if that's ok with you".
Is this a date or isn't it? Dinner and a movie, people of the opposite sex, nervous interactions and sexual tension....Do I want this to be date? Yes. So, then I should let him pay if he offers. But, here's the tricky thing, not offering to pay is rude. I don't expect my friends to pay for me (I don't even expect all my dates to either). But, if I offer to pay then he could read that as a signal that this is not a date and then act accordingly and then I miss out on possible romantic somethings. Do I risk being rude or losing a date which might not have been a possibility to begin with? Oh, the joy of 21st century dating-or not dating.