Continued from this post. This narrative moves backwards but I hope it makes sense anyway.
Maybe I should have answered the phone that day. If he had told me about his new girlfriend in a more humane manner I would have. But calling me just after midnight on Valentine's Day seemed designed for cruelty. I'm sure he didn't intend it that way. More likely, he had just decided to go for it with her and wanted to tell me right away. He talked over everything with me, except for his love life. That's how I knew about that girl's machinations, because he had no romantic interest in her initially.
But, I couldn't take the ups and downs with him anymore. I abandoned him to her but did not think it was permanent. She wasn't a member of the church and he was serious about having a temple marriage and kids and the whole church thing. I figured he'd come back to me when he was done with her. I just couldn't watch it happen.
She was manipulative and cunning. She set her trap for him in the fall by suggesting he move into her big empty house instead of his trailer. He told me all about it and her. Despite my fervent warnings against the move, by December, she talked him into it but he brought his roommate with him.
We had been planning a New Year's trip for awhile. I'd left my car and some furniture in Georgia that I wanted to retrieve. He wanted to drive back up to New York with me. We'd spend a week together then he'd fly home. I couldn't wait. But he called me sometime before Christmas to ask if she could come too. She had invited him to her folks' place in Florida for Christmas but he couldn't take both trips. He chose to come to New York. Magically, her trip to Florida got cancelled, so could she come with us to New York? At first I said yes. I didn't know what else to say, I was so shocked when he called to ask me. I knew what she was doing. Trying to weasel her way into his life and his heart. She knew I was an obstacle for her. I couldn't even see straight I was so upset when I got off the phone with him, realizing what I had just agreed to. It would be a week-long hell of competition for his attention. She obviously wasn't adverse to playing dirty so she'd likely win.
No way could I let that happen. I called some friends and tried to put together a good excuse for changing my mind. I couldn't say, "I think your friend is a conniving hoochie trying to take you away from me." I called him later and told him that 3 people is just too many for a road trip in my car. We would all get on each other's nerves. So, I couldn't let his little friend come with us. He said he understood and that was fine. I told myself he probably wanted me to say 'no' because he couldn't. Surely he didn't really want her there?
On our trip, she called him several times a day. I could tell by the way he talked to her that he felt some affection. One time she called because the house was too cold. He said, "Well go put the heater in your room silly." I had to hold back the vomit. Boy, that was a necessary call. I know lots of people with masters degrees who can't figure out that a heater heats up a room. Every time she called he withdrew from me. She also called New Year's Day while we were in a movie theater. He picked up the phone and went to the lobby to talk to her. After fifteen minutes I went looking for him so we could leave. He saw me but wouldn't get off the phone. I went to the bathroom to try to save some face and cry. Predictably, he called me whilst I sat on the toilet, wanting to know where I had gone. And predictably, I answered whilst on said tiolet and told him where I was. I should have said, "Oh I see! I was supposed to stand in the lobby looking like an eegit waiting for you to finish talking to another woman on your phone. I'll remember that the next time you leave me alone in a movie to talk to another woman." That's how she managed to ruin the trip without actually being there.
New Year's Eve 2003 he broke my heart for the second time, when he said he wanted to stay in because he needed a nap. That's when I knew he had no intention of rekindling anything with me. Was he afraid I'd kiss him at midnight? Of course I would! Was he afraid he'd like it? Of course he would! So I left him in my apartment to meet some friends in the village, totally heartbroken. Up to that point I harbored hope that something could happen. That night I gave up;
I should mention that I wasn't exactly an innocent in this debacle. I'll only take abuse for so long. That night, when I went out without him, I made sure I met up with a guy who had seriously flirted with me. He kissed me first, after midnight. Just gave me a peck and I withdrew from surprise. But then I was the one who followed him outside, he went out to get some air and to retrieve his dignity. He didn't get either because we made-out on the streets for an hour or two or three. Whew! That boy can kiss! I felt a lot better when I got home about 5 a.m. with messy hair, hoping I had some hickeys. I didn't. But I got my secret revenge. I also sneaked a look at his phone to see who kept calling. These things made me ashamed of myself, no, only the phone thing did.
After New Year's he tried to avoid eye contact and physical contact; a man ploy I knew well, he wanted me physically but not rationally. We never got romantic but we still had a great time together. It was the most bittersweet experience of my life. The more fun we had running through icy rain on Ellis Island and getting lost trying to find our way to CBGBs, the more it hurt. We fit so well together, some people assumed we were married.
When he went home to Georgia, I had no idea what our relationship was supposed to be. Until then we had stayed flirty and talked about the future and there was an implicit understanding (I thought) that we wanted to be together. We only broke up because I moved 900 miles away. After the trip I knew the other girl was winning. If they hadn't dated yet, it was only a matter of time. She lived with him, he was a horny and frustrated 23 year old virgin man. She was not a virgin. She was probably a skank hoochie. How much effort does it take to get the interest of such a man in such close quarters? Not much, and I imagine she played every game she could pull out of her skanky butt. She even started taking the missionary discussions, because he had no intentions of dating a non-LDS girl. (I know I'm not being fair. But it certainly followed the pattern.)
So she stole his heart from me. The man who, had I placed an order with God for my ideal mate, would have been the delivery of that order with extras. He was the person I dreamt about meeting but didn't believe existed. He was more beautiful than I imagined, inside and out. So Christ-like in his love for people. We liked the same things and had the same sense of humor. We wanted the same kind of life and seemed to have the same ideas about what kind of family we wanted. So sweet and patient. And more fun than almost anyone I had ever known. Except he was sooo young. He still had to finish college and was confused about what he wanted from me and how he felt. I knew what I wanted, I usually do. He was the only man I'd ever felt for this way. I hadn't been in love since high school. I remember telling my sister how much I liked the way he nodded his head 'yes', he kind of threw his chin up a few times rather than move his head up and down. I liked his chin. I had memorized his profile, and the way his large blue eyes looked at me, and the feel and smell of his wonderful skin.
I really believed that given enough time, he'd come back. Their sudden marriage shocked everyone.
Continued HERE.
Come back for more TRUE stories of the strange, sad and pathetic exploits of me not having sex in the city.
