8.08.2007

Now my heart is full

It's a whole new day. Despite the flooded out trains and subways this morning--making a nightmare commute for most New Yorkers, I feel much better. And not just because my commute only took 10 minutes longer than usual. (The woman working next to me spent 4 hours on her bus from Queens!) I feel better because I think my faith in humanity is restored.

I always believed that a truly good man, whether religious or not, who had serious interest in me, would be willing to wait for sex. Because I had to believe this. It helped me endure all these years through countless rejections, bad dates and weirdos-- 5 this summer alone! But the latest rejection, being solely for sex and from a seemingly good man, nearly obliterated that hope. As my new 'friend' told me last week, it was ironic that the thing which saved me earlier in my life, is now destroying me... (melodramatic, but interesting).

So, does one have to choose between her faith and the possibility for romantic love?

6 comments:

Kim said...

Ah! Don't leave me hanging like this =]

Michael said...

what kim said!

Anonymous said...

JL,

Good to see you back online. Yeah, and what's with leaving us hanging...

cassanova

JL said...

Casanova!

Been a long time! I hope things are well with you. I just labeled your guest post.

N.F. said...

You post about such things that I feel I'm living through right this very moment! My friend and I are struggling so much in this area--wanting to be together intimately--but BOTH knowing we can't right now. We've both been through the Temple, which makes it a WHOLE NEW BALL GAME IF he and I were intimate before we were married.

It's so freaking hard. All the times we're together--I just want to hug and kiss him, and have him hold me. But, with some situations that he and I have put ourselves in the last few weeks--we know that we can't even hold hands, because it will go too far and then we're screwed. (Not literally--well, maybe.)

I actually gave me recommend back to my Bishop this week because of how far he and I went a few weeks ago. I'm trying to be strong--both he and I are, but it's so dam* difficult. You will find yours. You really will.

JL said...
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