And the winner is...

Time to announce our winner of the pathetic personal ad contest! We got some excellent entries, even though there weren't a whole lot. Thank you everyone who participated and put herself and himself on the line. Be proud of your singlehood, and display your faults to the world!

First prize

DWM, 29, skinny. Works part-time at religious magazine, but is spiritually indecisive. Prone to procrastination. Will not finish undergraduate degree in impractical magor by 30. Has been diagnosed with several exciting mental illnesses and has history of addiction. Cannot keep pets alive, even fish. Has few material possessions. Lives with father. Washes hair infrequently and sense of style has been described as "classy hobo". Uses public transportation. Would write more, but can't afford it.

Yay! Please give a round of applause to our saddest single! Since you live in Utah you are spared the ignominy of having to go out with me. But the other fabulous prize is: you can write a guest post on CITC!! Yay! How excited are you? I bet you are just peeing in your pants from your unbelievable joy and excitement. Understandably, you were spared a date with me, the other mentally ill single.

Runner up:
Mike A
He wins for showing so much enthusiasm, and for his new unemployed status. Hooray!! You are also spared from having to go out with me. But you can have a guest post on here too. I guess Casanova should have 2 guest posts to signify his superiority over you, but you can have one. Now here's Mike's ad, it's nothing to sneeze at for pathetique:

SWM. 27 year old commitmentphobic, overweight, balding, unemployed college dropout seeks SF well out of his league. Possible mental health issues are/will be hidden rather than treated properly. Homeowner… in Oklahoma. Newly unemployed status also means that this winner will soon need to mooch off his parents to make the mortgage payments, and may eventually move into his parent’s basement! Call now, guys like this don’t come along everyday!

If you guys come up with a prize you'd like better, that I could actually award you, then let me know. Otherwise, you are stuck with guest blogging, on the topic of your own choosing though!

Here's is a list of the other sad contenders with links for the bloggy ones.

Honorable Mention:

Doug Geiger

If you missed their ads the first time, go back and read them HERE. Thanks again everyone! If you'd like to throw your ad in the ring you are welcome to do so, but the contest part is now over.

P.S. My brother has emailed Feather. Her personal ad made me think they might be compatible so I passed her email along. Everyone keep your fingers crossed.


noelle feather said...

Well, yes, I did receive the 1st e-mail yesterday. :) It even had a picture attached! I responded, and didn't have a recent picture of me, so I attached a picture of my babies. :)

Waiting to see if he responds! :) I'll let you know! 

Left by feather123

Anonymous said...

Oh, I think I could have beat y'all. I didn't enter for the same reason that John McEnroe doesn't go around entering amateur tennis tournaments. It would offend any reasonable person's sense of fairness. :)

This whole thing reminds me of that old National Lampoon line, "That's not funny, that's sick!" (We still laugh, though.) Let's not wait for others to mock us. Let's mock ourselves first.

I can't wait to read the guest posts. Also, isn't there supposed to be a part 2 to your glorious car ride, JL? You kind of left us hanging on that one.  

Left by eric

JL said...


I appreciate your kindness in letting the amateurs play at their little contest. Yes, part ii to the car ride is in the wings and will be up shortly.

I believe wholeheartedly in mocking myself before others do. Hence, this website exists.  

Left by JL