6.16.2005

Tales from the Reconstruction

I have hit rock bottom. Unfortunately that is my pattern. I'm too stubborn and proud to actually work on fixing my problems until I have no choice left.

Lately, I have been having a hard time. I have no energy at all. I cower at the thought of making a phone call. Day after day passes and I accomplish very little because I don't have the desire or energy to do anything. Some days are better than others. The fatigue seems tied to my bi-weekly menstrual cycle, knocking me out the week prior to it and the week of. Then I have one week with marginal improvement in mood and energy only to start it all again. Then I realized my problems could be more physical than mental. Maybe I have things wrong with my body making me so tired. I don't think like a depressive: I don't hate myself, I don't want to die, and I'm not hopeless. I have tried to tell my doctor this but he is not convinced. Fine, I'll do this myself then.

I wake up each morning feeling tired and crappy. My hair is falling out. I have multiple digestive problems, the likes of which you don't want to read about, I've developed some food intolerances, If I don't eat every few hours I get hypoglycemic, I crave salt and sugar, have a poor appetite, and etc.

The first step in my reconstruction of self was to get off the Diet Coke, which I did mid-April. I had been drinking 1 liter or more per day for the past two or three years. Prior to that I drank 20 or 40 oz per day, since age 22. One day in April, out of nowhere, I remembered reading all these horrible things about Aspartame. So I did an internet search. I read enough scary information, learning that aspartame is a carcinogenic neurotoxin, to stop drinking it. 'Take the Aspartame Challenge', giving it up for 60 days, and see if your symptoms go away. My extreme lethargy, and brain fogginess markedly improved within a week. So i've stayed off of it. This success, has encouraged me to keep looking for ways to heal my body.

WARNING: I'm taking the alternative/natural medicine route. I've had 700 dollars worth of tests done on me by the medical establishment in the last few months. They said everything was normal. Right, that's why I have two periods a month, fibroids, diarrhea, excessive bruising, chronic muscle tension, and everything else.

What causes my lethargy, listlessness, I.B.S. and various digestive problems, depression and anxiety? Probably long-term stress, poor nutrition and lack of exercise. And perhaps, Candidasis, an overgrowth of yeast in the intestines is highly likely one of the culprits. But in order to deal with that, I have to address the causes of that infection--it doesn't happen in healthy bodies. Ridding oneself of an intestinal yeast infection is not simple. I'm trying to cut all carbs out of my diet but that's ridiculous. So I'm lowering my carb intake. (But I keep cheating) I suspect that my recent increase in lethargy resulted from drinking 1 liter of sugar Coke each day. Yeast feeds on sugar, the more refined the better, so I probably caused a flourishing in their nasty little colon colony. I don't drink any soda anymore.

Someone gets Candidasis because they have unhealthy intestines, caused by poor diet and...etc., etc, etc,. I'm working on improving my diet and have begun taking supplements to help my liver and G.I. tract, also eating things to kill the yeast. I had horrible headaches and felt sick the first few days but those have subsided and I feel more energetic than I have for a few weeks. I actually did laundry and washed some dishes! So I am encouraged.

Another culprit may be this adrenal exhaustion thing I've read about. Though, there doesn't seem to be any real research on insufficient adrenal function until one reaches the crisis stage. There have been tests on rats who were put under extreme and continual stress, their adrenal glands grew enlarged at first then after a few months they shriveled up and the rats died. I'm going to keep looking into this. It sounds like a good explanation.

It's all tiresome and confusing. But as long as it seems to help I'll keep doing it. Those of you skeptical of the 'alternative' medical practices need not fear, I'm only doing benign things like taking vitamins and garlic pills.
I'll get some links up here soon. In the meantime, here's the story of my 3 years of non-stop stress. Enjoy!