New Year Resolution

It's not January. But the Chinese and Jewish calendars have their own New Year's. So, I can too. The JL New Year. I just turned 29 and start one more year. The last of my 20s. I want to make the most of it. I'm young, single, free, healthy, living in New York City and don't work 9-5. How sweet is that? I should live it up.

Instead, I just beat myself up for not living it up and wasting my time by staying home. Yeah, so it's hard to go out in the city and it can take 2 hours to get home on the trains late at night and stuff is expensive, so what? So just because I got depressed last year and became incapable of having fun, I stopped doing things. I gave up on my social life and having a life. Ho hum, what a droll girl am I!

One woman I met at church told me she and her husband were moving south this summer. I asked if she was happy to leave or regretful. She told me they both felt it was time to go but they were a little sad because they enjoyed their time here so much. She said they tried to make the most of it and did different things every weekend, so they had a lot of fun. I've heard other people say how much fun they have living here. I must be doing something wrong. I need to have more fun. I also need to go to church, that always helps my mood. And helps me to feel like a productive and useful human being.

Two New Year's Resolutions for my 29th year: to do at least one fun thing every week and to start going to church regularly enough to get on the rolls.

Last week was the first of the new year. The fun resolution stayed in my mind all week but I didn't do it. I moped around feeling sad about the boy. Because he never called to talk or tried to make anything up to me. Seemed like he didn't care if we never talked again. Which confirmed my fear that I was a girl of convenience for him. I was angry so that made me inconvenient and too much work. That's what I thought, anyway.

Saturday night, my housemate performed in a dramatic reading. I planned to go and got dressed but pooped out at the last minute because I didn't want to go alone. That was going to be my fun thing--though I doubted how much fun one could have watching a dramatic reading about the Tesla Coil. I prefer staying home to going out, I'd rather play on the computer or watch horror films (especially when I'm mad at men--nothing like watching zombies have their heads sliced off for releasing aggression!). I am such a total nerd on the inside. Not so much on the outside, I hope.

Please help, the nerd in me is taking over my brain and my life. I've forgotten how to have fun! What to do? What to do?

How does one have fun in this city with limited funds and no inebriation? If you lived here, what would you want to do for fun? If you came to visit what would you do for fun? If you do live here, where does a nice(?) Mormon girl go for cheap thrills?

[update on the man situation coming soon.]