NYC, This is why I hate you

I woke up to sunlight this morning, which was a beautiful and new thing. I love my new place, I think I'll be much happier there than in my old place. BUT--the moving was a horrific nightmare. Behold the hassel that only happens in New York:

5 times I moved my things. 1st, last week into the truck with help from a friend and a hired mover. 2nd, into an empty house way out in Queens with help from the same friend and the old man who owns the house. 3rd, out of the house in Queens (after a 3 hour drive caused by the Mets game traffic.) I had help that one time from one fried. We were able to do it in an hour and change so we left Queens at 10:30. But I went back to Manhattan the wrong way and ended up in the Bronx After paying $8 toll. Then I got caught in Yankee game traffic and had to pay another $8 to get back into Manhattan where I dropped off my friend and then tried to find safe illegal parking for the full moving truck. Parallel parking a 14' truck on the street was not fun, to say the least. I got back home about midnight, when I left at 3:30 to pick up the truck.

That morning I woke up early to move the car from that illegal spot to another illegal spot. While packing things in the house where I've been crashing, I had to go out and move the truck 3 more times because people double parked next to it and blocked traffic. Of course, I'm the one they cussed and screamed at. One creative guy stopped his car to lean out the window and tell me, "When you hear people talking about A**holes, they're talking about you!" I said, "Thanks and slapped my left cheek for him. Despite my kind moving of the truck, I still got a $45 parking ticket I have to pay. It took me awhile to find some movers to help me empty the truck into my new home. It's a brownstone so there is half a flight of stairs to the front door and then my bedroom on the second floor. I finally found some who only quoted me $70 per hour for two guys with a $100 minimum. That was the best I could do.

After I got my two cats into the cab of the truck I left Harlem and drove towards Brooklyn. Meena is trained for car rides so she just sat in my lap and behaved herself. I had to confine the little one in a carrier and put her in the other seat and listen to her howl all the way there. It took 1.5 hours. I had to take surface roads some of the time because trucks aren't allowed on parts of the highway and some bridges/tunnels. Of course I got lost because MapQuest doesn't figure in for truck detour. But I got there at 1:45. The movers came at 2 and finished about 2:15. I gave them my last 120 bucks (tip) then attempted to return the truck to midtown.

I left at 3:30. I couldn't figure out how to get out of Brooklyn. I stopped to fill the gas tank so I wouldn't get over-charged by the truck company. But I estimated wrong and only filled it half full. The truck was due at 4:30!!! Not long after the gas station fill-up which took 15 minutes because another truck parked me in, I hit an SUV that was double parked. !!!! Those freaking cars should not be allowed in this city!! They are ridiculous and insane. It was hard enough driving a truck through narrow streets with cars parked on both sides and pedestrians everywhere, without the cars having to be grossly over-sized to feed the vanity of their owners. Anyway, I scraped and dented the rear fender of the SUV and scraped up my rental truck. Of course, I turned down the truck damage insurance when I rented it. Yikes!!! At this point I gave up and went numb to it all. I imagined the thousands or so bucks Penske was going to charge me and who knows what for the dang SUV.

God blessed me that day. The guy in the car gave me his cell phone so I could talk to the owner. He told me earlier not to call the police. The woman asked me what happened and how bad it was. Then she said she'd like to just forget about it. Fine with me. Thank you God. So I headed back towards Manhattan again. I made my way to the Brooklyn Bridge where a cop turned me away, trucks aren't allowed. Then I drove around following signs and getting lost. Finally I asked a traffic cop how to get out of there. He showed me the way to Manhattan Bridge. I had $8 on me and had forgotten to bring my metrocard for the subway ride home. I prayed that the toll for this bridge was only $6 so I'd have enough cash to get home. I was blessed again because the bridge was toll free.

The guy at Penske was extremely nice to me. I arrived in his office frantic and sure I'd be charged another 70 bucks because the truck was an hour late (now 5:30). I showed him the scrapes. He wiped the paint off the scratches and told me it was only dirt so I had nothing to worry about. He was lying for me. May God bless his kind, kind heart. He also didn't charge me any late fee. But I had to pay $16 for 4 gallons of gas. And I had driven 91 miles so it all came out to about $120. Still less than UHaul. So I subwayed myself back to my new home and moved all my belongings upstairs to the third floor.

What a ridiculous ordeal-- made worse by my incompetence at planning and efficiency. While lost in Brooklyn I got very sad. I thought about how much easier this would have been if I had someone with me or someone to help me. Even just having a person in the car to make me laugh.... but I only cried for a few minutes. Being alone has gotten extremely old. I'm tired of this. I want someone with me. I can't even imagine how it'd have felt just to have someone give me a hug last night when I finished. People are not built to be alone.

Come back for more TRUE stories of the strange, sad and pathetic exploits of me not having sex in the city.