A digression: Housing update

I have tried to strictly limit my posts to the theme of this blog, the foibles of dating. However, such things lose all importance when one is homeless. I need to vent and figure things out. So this is a boring post about the stuff I'm currently dealing with. I apologize if you wanted some juicy no-sex in the city post. This is a homeless in the city post instead.

I'm sitting in my temporary lodgings, loaned to me by a vacationing family from church. The church has really come through for me and helped me out. One member let me store all of my belongings in his empty house near JFK. He also has a friend with a studio whom he is pressuring to clean up so I can possibly move in. The Relief Society president coordinated all of that and is just itching to get me a food order from the bishop's storehouse. The clerk said the church will re-emburse me for the cost of moving. I really love the church community and all the support we give each other. For a single woman who lives 2000 miles from her family, it's tremendously comforting to have this loving group so willing to help me. And the church garden has supplied me with plenty of food for the weekend.

Having said that, I need to vent. I am exceptionally tense and couldn't sleep last night. I want to live alone with my own lease so I can have security and the peace I need to do my research and writing at home. But, I can't afford that luxury unless I go to New Jersey. I'm ok with living in New Jersey as long as it's not too inconvenient for someone without a car. Here's where I'm at with all of this.

I have found a place, but I'm very nervous about it. For shared housing, it's ideal. A beautiful 3 story brownstone in Brooklyn, I'd have my own large bedroom and the first floor is all shared space with a kitchen and living room. They don't smoke and are ok with my two cats. They are also mature women who work and aren't 21. What makes me nervous is living with 3 other women. I've had a lot of problems living with some strange people and I'm tired of it. I'm also concerned that I don't have a lease so I am left with no security. I want to live somewhere I know I can stay. Harlem is a nicer location than this particular neighborhood, although Brooklyn is more convenient for me socially since all my friends live there.

So right now, I'm exhausted from spending about 12 hours moving into storage and all other waking hours in the search for a home. But I agreed to move in with the women yesterday at our second meeting. We made plans for me to give them the deposit check this evening. I just called them and asked if I could have the weekend to think it over some more. Expectedly, they were not pleased. I said I'd let them know Monday morning, that I just wanted to sleep on it some because I've been so stressed. I don't trust myself to make the decision so quickly. Which means they will be showing the room to other people all weekend and could possibly lease the room to someone else before Monday. I could have lied and said I had problems getting the cash from the bank so I couldn't get them the deposit until Monday. But I don't want to screw them over that way so I explained the situation. So, I've given up my guarantee on that place. That makes me nervous. In fact, I might throw up fairly soon because I now feel more nervous about losing the guarantee than I did about making the commitment.

But I also called the guy from church about the studio. I don't want to live in a studio but given my situation, I have to either live in a studio or have roommates. Ok, so I've accepted that. The guy said he'll call his friend and see if the place will be ready for me to look at tomorrow. If it's big enough and I like the place then I will take it. I should also go to NJ this weekend to look at one bedrooms out there. I don't have the energy today. I had planned to spend the afternoon in NJ. My whole body is painfully tense now. I felt better before I called the girls.

Yes, I'd prefer to live alone in a real apartment in Jersey City but it'd be more expensive and I'd have to deal with the icky lease legalities. They require documents proving one has employment, recent pay stubs, W2 forms for last year, current landlord references, and since my annual salary is not 30x the monthly rent I will have to have my father co-sign as a guarantor. What that means is I'll have to provide documents from him proving he makes 45x (sometimes they want 70x) the monthly rent and bank statements and W2s from him. He lives in Miami. Oy vei. I'd also have the added inconvenience of living in NJ. Even though it's just on the other side of the river, it's like living on another planet. Typing this, I realize I can't deal with all of that. Good. So I don't have to go to NJ. I just have to see the studio tomorrow. That means I should get to the bank today and take the cash out on my credit card so I can have the deposit for the place in Brooklyn before Monday. Then I can secure the house tomorrow night if I don't like the studio.

I'm off to the bank now. Don't you wish you could live in New York City too? Life here is not like Friends. That show was ridiculously unrealistic. The girls' apartment would cost several thousand a month in rent, which they would not be able to afford. Nor could Ross afford his 1 bedroom in the village on his university salary. It was the only thing on tv after work when I worked nights at the newspaper so I watched it then and let it lull me to sleep. I'll shut up now and go to the bank.

Come back for more TRUE stories of the strange, sad and pathetic exploits of me not having sex in the city.