8 Random Facts

V tagged me for this post over at his blog, Gravity and Fusion. He is a long-time blog friend with exceptional taste in music.

Now that I am stuck at home waiting for a phone call to have my meds refilled while enjoying a withdrawal headache, this seemed like a good time.

1. first, post these rules
2. post 8 random facts about yourself
3. write a blogspot about those facts
4. tag and name 8 more bloggers
5. tell them that they're tagged at their blog

Fact 1: I wear a size 10 1/2 shoe. It is worse than wearing an 11, because most shoe makers skip size 10 1/2. Check your shoe catalogues. This is why I only wore men shoes until a few years ago.

Fact 2:I once spent the night wandering the streets of London with nowhere to sleep. I did catch about 30 minutes of snooze time in the photo booth at Victoria Station, but the custodian threw me out. I also took a return trip to Oxford so I could sleep on the bus. London is a very unfriendly city for the accomodation-less! There are no good benches, they lock the parks...It happened because I am not good with money, or my impulse-control, and had to buy a pair of shoes in Camden Town. Using the last of my cash on these men's shoes, left me without a bed for my last two nights of a 2 month backpacking trip. However, I did wisely spend my last night sleeping at the airport.

Fact 3: I was in the marching band my last year of Jr. High. I tried to avoid it for as long as I could. But the band teacher got sick of me being first chair in the Intermediate band, 'aka kids not good enough to play in the concert/marching band'. In high school when I had to choose between swim team and band, I threw the spats away.

Fact 4: One night I had to pay the cover to get into a club because the bouncer thought I was with the Foofighters. I was very P/O'd! All my friends got in free, as usual, but I was last in line and the guys behind me were flirting (turns out they were the Foofighters, sans Noceselic. When I tried to get in the door, the dude held his palm out for the cheddar. The guys had just come from a big concert and explained this to the bouncer. He did not give a rat's tootie who they were and he made them pay the cover. Did they pay for me? No, they did not. Did I talk to them again the rest of the night? No, I did not.

Fact 5: I do not mind male back hair. It's certainly not a turn-on, but it doesn't gross me out or make me recoil in horror as it does for some women.

Fact 6: I will be on psychotropic medication for the rest of my life. And we are ok with this. I'm not ok with shelling out a third of my income to pay for these meds, nor the credit card debt I have amassed over the years to buy them. But, until our immoral-for-profit health care industry collapses in on itself or bankrupts every middle-class American, and small business owner, I'm stuck. {Although I plan to move to the UK when I am done with school. NHS, I'm coming home baby!}

Fact 7: I used to hate The Smiths and Morrissey. Until the day when I got the joke. And yet, even before that, I inexplicably bought "The Smiths Best I", when I went to college. Then I listened to it with increasing regularity...until it dominated my CD player, where it still lives to this day.

Fact 8: I may take a sell-out full time corporate job. They are threatening to offer me a position at this big company that sells HR consulting. I think I have reached the point when I can no longer sustain myself teaching. My credit card payments have gotten too high, I'm sick of not having health insurance, I'm sick of guaranteed unemployment every summer without any unemployment benefits... but the thought of taking this job makes me sick too. I don't know what to do.

The End

Bloggers tagged to post 8 Random Facts:

1. Michael
2. Lollygagger
3. Faye Min
4. Ann
5. Smash
6. House of Payne
7. Noelle F.
8. triska

Such a little thing . . .

Well, I had my date. After dinner, I told him I was Mormon and didn't believe in pre-marital sex. It was the right thing to do. He was completely freaked out, shocked and confused. But he wasn't mean to me like the last guy. We talked about it for two or three hours. Then we watched a movie while cuddling and kissing. But I came home fairly certain I'd never hear from him again. (Although, nothing had been settled.) But, he surprised me with a gentlemanly email, saying he'd like to try being friends because the other wasn't in the stars for us. He also called me a "sweet girl" which made me want to vomit.

If I weren't religious, we'd totally be a couple. Our chemistry was ridiculously steamy. He cooked me dinner, but couldn't even wait until afterwards to kiss me. Just grabbed me in the kitchen... It was so refreshing to be with a man that liked the same things I do, and had a healthy ego. It's been years since I've been out with a man like that. Ce la vie.

I was completely honest with him and put all my cards on the table. When I told him the church boys don't like me, he said, "Of course they don't. You're a punk rock girl." And yet, I am not the one for him.

What's a punk rock girl to do? . . . "Here kitty, kitty..." I think I'll learn to knit sweaters with cute animals on them.

...and you leave on your own, and you go home and you cry... Not this time!

Oh, does JL have a date this weekend? Why, yes she does! Woo hoo.

But we aren't going to get too excited yet, because he is not LDS and does not know that she is Mormon and celibate.

I don't want to give too many details because I know he is an heavy internet user, but,.... A certain performer whom I inordinately love performed in A.C. last night. Since I had no friends to go with, and I knew people in the city would have difficulty getting there, I posted a ride-share ad online. I got a few responses, and ended up with a free ticket and two gentlemen passengers. They were both very sweet and I loved having their company.

The show was fantastic, as always, but very surreal. This performer does not usually play in fancy casinos. On the way to the concert hall, we had to pass through the lush gilded hotel and gambling rooms filled with elderly people and tourists. Unfortunately, the sound system was abysmal. But the singer was fabulous and broke all our hearts, as always. He enjoyed himself and hammed it up since it was the last performance of the American tour. You can read a review of the concert from V here.

One of my passengers and I hit it off, and somehow the evening turned into a pre-date date for us. We arrived early and the younger guy wanted to wait in line, but we wanted to eat, since we are crusty old-timers. The over-priced buffet was the only food available. There we sat at a table together talking (he is very cute by the way), in our posh and gauche surroundings. He was very polite, sweet, and funny. It felt like a first date, but without the pressure and with the promise of the show afterwards to make everything better.

During the show, we stood together and shouted our observations and remarks in each other's ears. We smiled at each other over certain songs, danced together, and sang the same words. I couldn't help feeling as though I might be falling for this man, he who stood by my side as the music washed over us. Sharing such a happy and significant event created a potent intimacy. At one point, it almost felt like he wanted to kiss me, as we looked at each other with contentment during the beautiful, sad, slow song (fans know which one; yes, the slowest and saddest song in the repertoire). Even though I knew all of this was just the thrill of the moment and the music, I enjoyed it while it lasted.

During the encore, after the dozen or so stage rushes, the performer threw his sweaty shirt into the audience, right next to us. A mob riot ensued for possession of the shirt. It went on for 15-20 minutes. Both of us got pushed and pulled by the fray, but he caught me and held on to keep me from falling to the floor. Then he helped extract me from the dangerous nerdy crowd, by pulling me away with him. On our way out the door, he gave me a big hug.

The drive home took 3 hours, because I went the wrong way and ended up in Philadelphia, a typical mistake for me. We talked the whole way. The other fan slept in the back seat. As we neared the city, he asked me out. I said yes. He wants to take me dancing.

Now. I have to tell him about my religion and no-sex thing. He was puzzled by my not drinking and asked about it. To my shame, I was dishonest about the reason why. I said, 'for one thing it's because I'm on medication'. Which is true, but not. My sorry excuse is that I didn't want to ruin the night with truth and reality. Probably a bad call.

The last non-LDS man I went out with went ballistic when I told him about my celibacy. Even though it was just our first date, he went on and on about how I should have told him earlier. So, I must tell my new friend the news before we go out, right? I guess I should do it on the phone. Maybe he'll be OK with things, being the artsy sensitive type of guy, but...

The truth is, regular men expect sex to be part of dating, as one of the major reasons to date. Why would they want to date a woman who won't have sex with them, when other women will? Don't they have to be extremely mature or very desperate? I hope I am being overly cynical in my estimation, but I've had men tell me as much.

Either way, I had a wonderful evening with a lovely man and the best pop music ever made. I did not go home, cry and want to die on this night.

Singles Survey: How is your ward?

Ok. I did expect to get negative feedback on my last post, but I did not expect that much. I am frankly surprised by the hostility. Why does my frustration call for other's fierce reprobation? One even went so far as to blame my singleness on my bad attitude. (Thank you for that, by the way.)

So, fine. Let's hear from the rest of you singles. Is my isolation from the family ward a singular experience (ha,ha)? Is the marginalization of single mormons merely a local cultural problem, or a more universal institutional one?

If you have a few minutes, and you are a single mormon, please answer the questions below in a comment.

If you think I am a whiney loser, who expects too much from church (like loving fellowship and inclusion), you may be right. Read the comments from other singles. You will either feel vindicated in your righteous judgement of me, or you might have your eyes opened to something which might be a real problem.

1. What is your age, sex and single status: never-married, divorced, widowed?

2. When was the last time you were asked to speak in church?

3. What is your current calling? How long have you had it?

4. What is the biggest calling you have ever had? How was it? AND, was this in a struggling branch/ward or a regular ward?

5. Are you a visiting or home teacher? (when was the last time you were?)

6. Do you have significant relationships with any members of your ward (real friendships)?

7. What is your favorite part of church?

8. What part of church do you wish would change? How would you change it?

9. In general, do you feel accepted and loved by others at church, or do you feel like an outsider?

10. For those of us who aren't as enlightened as you, what did you do to mitigate that outsider-feeling and make yourself more included?

11. Any relevant anecdotes you would like to share?

My answers:

1. 31, female, never married;
2. I was last asked to speak 5 years ago when I moved into a branch in the city.
3. No calling. I haven't had one in 3 years, despite asking 4 bishops for one.
4. I was a counselor in the primary. I loved it. It was a struggling branch.
5. I haven't been a visiting teacher since I was in a singles ward 6 years ago.
6. No friends. I tired making friends in the ward in Florida, but no one was interested.
7. I like singing the songs.
8. See post below for what I would change.
9. I do not feel included
10. I'm not enlightened.
11. No.

Feel free to skip any questions. Thank you for your time and input! Can't wait to see the answers. I hope it is my fault that I find church so unpleasant, because it's a lot easier to change myself than the whole church.