I have not read Mr. Webcam's emails yet. I'm guessing the first one is nasty and seething and the second one, which came 2 hours later, is apologetic. Unless he is the type who likes to be punished...then he'll be begging me to marry him. Twice. But based on his high opinion of himself and his disbelief that I didn't want to even look at him, it's not likely he took criticism well. But don't worry my lovelies, y'all will be the first to know what he says.
My flight leaves late this afternoon for Ft. Lauderdale. WHeeeeeeee!!!!!
Preparing for this flight, I can see that I am growing. Not in the fat way, in the good mature way. I am doing laundry this very minute! Even though my flight leaves in a few hours. I know, I'm as surprised and impressed as you are. Last time I left for the summer, for Ireland, I left 4 loads of dirty clothes in my bedroom. It festered for 2 months and was not pretty to come home to. But I won't come home to stinky laundry again! That's growth because I'm learning from my mistakes. Not only am I doing laundry, but I had the prescience of mind to take all my winter coats and scarves to the cleaners on Monday. I got up early today and took a jog down there(literally jogged there folks) to pick them up and bought a breakfast sandwich on the way. In the rain. You read that correctly.
Not only have I conquered these masterful feats, but I defrosted my freezer yesterday! I crapped out on it the last time I tried. The little catch tray that separates my freezer from my fridge was full of water and then this inch thick block of ice lining the bottom of the freezer fell into the tray. Then I could no longer pull the tray out because the block was still connected to the sides of the freezer. It was a mess. That's when I got the brilliant idea to turn the cold back on and let it freeze that way. So my catch tray was frozen to the bottom of the freezer for 6 months. Until now.
If you knew me, and knew what a spastic irresponsible mess I am, you would understand the greatness of these small chores. I've also been to the deli twice to get quarters and more soap!
Monday I bought my ticket, and have been stressed out since. Making lists upon lists, then losing the lists and making lists to make more lists...I plan to stay for 2 months which makes this a complicated packing. I'm bringing my cat and have to bring all my papers and books so I can get work done. And I need a work wardrobe so I can get a job.
The other scary thing, besides getting ready, is that I am not good at catching planes. Especially in New York. Having to use public transportation to get to the different airports, with variable traffic times, made calculating the time to get there beyond my abilities. I have probably missed half of my flights in the last 4 years, if not more; that's not an exaggeration. I also missed planes when I lived in Atlanta, but I didn't have the public transportation excuse then. Everytime I get to the airport with time to spare I call someone I know to tell them and they cheer for me. (I can't even count how many times I've had to run up to the gate and been the last one on.)
To prevent this horror and because I have two suitcases and a cat, I'm taking a cab with the money my mother just gave me, (which is how I could afford dry cleaning). Shuttle buses don't come to my neighborhood unfortunately. It's another cost of living in Jersey. If I still lived in the city I could call the BlueVan and get a pickup for $20. The cab costs $45 with tip, even though it's only 3 freeway exits away. Oh well. This is what means to live in the largest metropolis in the country.
My last laundry load is drying in the basement. I still have to collect my papers, clean the bathtub, mop the kitchen, clean out the litter box, clean my nails, collect my CD's, pack the carry-on, lock the windows, pack kitty's carrier with goodies for her, get a sandwich from the deli, take out the trash, do hair and makeup, put laundry away (though I'll probably just leave it on the bed), cancel my internet account....and I think that is it. I have 3 hours. Should be time enough.
Wish me luck. I will still try to blog from mom's house. Her computer is in the guest room so my access is good. Interesting things don't happen much down there so I may spend some time reminiscing.
Showing posts with label Mr. Webcam. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mr. Webcam. Show all posts
6.07.2006
6.05.2006
Mr. Webcam Returns
In case you missed his first visit, you can read about it HERE
Contrary to popular belief, he did contact me again! He sent me an email saying "Hey. Long time no....nothing. How are ya?"
Are you kidding me? How could he possibly want to talk to me again or think I wanted to talk to him again? Well, it turns out he is somewhat of a special case. My buddy looked at his profile after I told him the story. He recognized the guy as an actor from those bad Mormon comedies like "The Singles Ward" and "RM". I thought that was hilarious. The dude even has his own page on IMDB.com. But I won't tell you who he is.
Now this partly explains his obsession with his webcam. He probably wanted me to see him hoping that I'd recognize him from the movies. Then I would become twitterpated by the mere fact of his greatness and moviestar fame. (Even though he wasn't the main character, and actors in those films can hardly be called movie stars-- as my buddy pointed out. My buddy might now notice I did not ask his permission to reference our conversations on the blog. --It was funny, give me a break.)
Well, I decided to write Mr. Webcam back. Mostly because I figured he knows people in New York :
He replied expressing surprise at my surprise. Then he said he didn't know anyone looking but he'd love to chat with me again. I thought about it for a few days then sent another email. I wrote that I hadn't expected to hear back from him because he seemed pretty PO'd about the webcam thing. And I didn't like the way he talked down to me.
On Friday he sent me an apologetic email. He said he wasn't POd, he thought it was silly and something to tease me about. And he didn't think that he had been talking down to me, he was sorry. He didn't remember what he said. Maybe I was just extra sensitive because of the disturbing men I'd come across before. Maybe he should have been more cautious with me. Maybe both. But he was sorry.
YUCK! I couldn't just let that go. I spent the weekend thinking about how I should respond. (Mostly because I don't have anything else going on in my life.) Also, I'm on an honesty kick right now. If people were more honest to others within their dating lives, then I think we'd all be better off. Then we could know what we did wrong and fix it. Plus, it hurts less to know why you were rejected as opposed to spending the rest of your life wondering why, inventing horrid reasons for why you aren't good enough.
With that in mind, I wrote him a rather long explanatory email this morning. I'm nervous about it now. I didn't want to make him angry or hurt him. I thought he should know what happened. He also needed to know that I am not overly sensitive. If anything, I'm insensitive. I frequently hurt other people's feelings by saying things that would not hurt my feelings. Because most people are more sensitive than I am. I explained that to him, as well as my honesty thing.
First, I told him that my friends were all horrified by our conversation and couldn't believe I kept talking to him after the first time he called me damaged. And that it was a good thing he hadn't heard what they'd called him. (This was evidence that I didn't overreact.) Then I said I'd break it down for him, but he should stop reading if he wasn't prepared to hear it.
I calmly told him how things went down from my perspective. That he didn't respect my feelings when I told him I don't like webcams. When he wouldn't take no for an answer it was disrespectful. That I had to keep giving him reasons why I don't like them. And the fact that someone masturbated on my computer screen was usually explanation enough for other people. But he took that as a sign there was something wrong with me. That it meant I was another damaged 30 year old he'd have to deal with. Etc. Etc. I wrote that it's not appropriate to 'tease' someone that way when you don't know them. Then I reminded him of his comment: he'd "have to see how much time I'd make him spend atoning for the sins of men in my past before he decided how good of friends we could be." I told him that was emotional blackmail. And beyond presumptuous and insulting.
Lastly, I said that I was sure he didn't have malicious intent but I am too old to let men talk to me that way. I wished him luck in his future dating endeavors.
I really held my tongue. I wanted to say some brutal things regarding what his words said about him, but I didn't. That would only serve to anger and hurt him. I hope he actually reads it and maybe learns something. I hope I wasn't too mean. I didn't want to make him feel bad, but I probably did.
Now, if we hear from him again, that will be extraordinary. If he sends back something nice then he MIGHT be worth talking to again. Though I think that's as likely to happen as Romney winning the presidency.
***OOo, OOO, he wrote me back twice. But I'm afraid to read them. So you'll have to wait. Yikes. I'd say this man has some juevos.
Contrary to popular belief, he did contact me again! He sent me an email saying "Hey. Long time no....nothing. How are ya?"
Are you kidding me? How could he possibly want to talk to me again or think I wanted to talk to him again? Well, it turns out he is somewhat of a special case. My buddy looked at his profile after I told him the story. He recognized the guy as an actor from those bad Mormon comedies like "The Singles Ward" and "RM". I thought that was hilarious. The dude even has his own page on IMDB.com. But I won't tell you who he is.
Now this partly explains his obsession with his webcam. He probably wanted me to see him hoping that I'd recognize him from the movies. Then I would become twitterpated by the mere fact of his greatness and moviestar fame. (Even though he wasn't the main character, and actors in those films can hardly be called movie stars-- as my buddy pointed out. My buddy might now notice I did not ask his permission to reference our conversations on the blog. --It was funny, give me a break.)
Well, I decided to write Mr. Webcam back. Mostly because I figured he knows people in New York :
Wow. I didn't expect to hear from you again. I'm well. I'm looking for someone to sublet my place this summer do you know anyone?
He replied expressing surprise at my surprise. Then he said he didn't know anyone looking but he'd love to chat with me again. I thought about it for a few days then sent another email. I wrote that I hadn't expected to hear back from him because he seemed pretty PO'd about the webcam thing. And I didn't like the way he talked down to me.
On Friday he sent me an apologetic email. He said he wasn't POd, he thought it was silly and something to tease me about. And he didn't think that he had been talking down to me, he was sorry. He didn't remember what he said. Maybe I was just extra sensitive because of the disturbing men I'd come across before. Maybe he should have been more cautious with me. Maybe both. But he was sorry.
YUCK! I couldn't just let that go. I spent the weekend thinking about how I should respond. (Mostly because I don't have anything else going on in my life.) Also, I'm on an honesty kick right now. If people were more honest to others within their dating lives, then I think we'd all be better off. Then we could know what we did wrong and fix it. Plus, it hurts less to know why you were rejected as opposed to spending the rest of your life wondering why, inventing horrid reasons for why you aren't good enough.
With that in mind, I wrote him a rather long explanatory email this morning. I'm nervous about it now. I didn't want to make him angry or hurt him. I thought he should know what happened. He also needed to know that I am not overly sensitive. If anything, I'm insensitive. I frequently hurt other people's feelings by saying things that would not hurt my feelings. Because most people are more sensitive than I am. I explained that to him, as well as my honesty thing.
First, I told him that my friends were all horrified by our conversation and couldn't believe I kept talking to him after the first time he called me damaged. And that it was a good thing he hadn't heard what they'd called him. (This was evidence that I didn't overreact.) Then I said I'd break it down for him, but he should stop reading if he wasn't prepared to hear it.
I calmly told him how things went down from my perspective. That he didn't respect my feelings when I told him I don't like webcams. When he wouldn't take no for an answer it was disrespectful. That I had to keep giving him reasons why I don't like them. And the fact that someone masturbated on my computer screen was usually explanation enough for other people. But he took that as a sign there was something wrong with me. That it meant I was another damaged 30 year old he'd have to deal with. Etc. Etc. I wrote that it's not appropriate to 'tease' someone that way when you don't know them. Then I reminded him of his comment: he'd "have to see how much time I'd make him spend atoning for the sins of men in my past before he decided how good of friends we could be." I told him that was emotional blackmail. And beyond presumptuous and insulting.
Lastly, I said that I was sure he didn't have malicious intent but I am too old to let men talk to me that way. I wished him luck in his future dating endeavors.
I really held my tongue. I wanted to say some brutal things regarding what his words said about him, but I didn't. That would only serve to anger and hurt him. I hope he actually reads it and maybe learns something. I hope I wasn't too mean. I didn't want to make him feel bad, but I probably did.
Now, if we hear from him again, that will be extraordinary. If he sends back something nice then he MIGHT be worth talking to again. Though I think that's as likely to happen as Romney winning the presidency.
***OOo, OOO, he wrote me back twice. But I'm afraid to read them. So you'll have to wait. Yikes. I'd say this man has some juevos.
Collection:
E-Love,
Mr. Webcam
5.08.2006
Another one bites the dust, sigh
There are networking social sites online where people can post profiles and link to their friends' profiles, Friendster was the big one a few years ago. People also use these sites to look for dates. I have a profile on one of them. I confess that once or twice a year I do a few searches for men and send a few notes out. It's an act of optimism, never yet bearing fruit. Occasionally, I even receive notes from men on their own fishing expeditions.
Last week I got an email that was very bold, compared to the usual "Hi," "Nice profile", "How YOU doing?" . . .you get the idea. The most common thing I've found is that guys send some obscure random question about my profile. (BTW, not effective, it may work as a pickup line in a public place but not on email.) So this guy sent me an actual letter complimenting my tastes and saying he was very interested, I looked like just his type. Intrigued, I checked out his profile. Whoa. My first instinct was, ok, there is something horribly wrong with this man. Why did I respond so cynically? Because he looked too good. He was Mormon, 33, very very tall, good-looking, had a successful career(according to him), and came across as charming--as opposed to the usual socially awkward bloke.
Now, two of any of the above characteristics are enough to make a man prime meat in the singles ward. I learned that the hard way by dating a very tall and very good looking man. That's when I ended up in the nasty quadrangle and gossipy envy. That man had no career, and turned out to be about as dumb as dirt. Yet, women were clawing each other's eyes out for him. As I said, in my experience, a Mormon man needs only two of these golden traits to draw the women like flies on.... And here was a single guy living in Salt Lake(!!!) still single and hitting on me shamelessly. Additionally, the man had about 30 women on his profile gushing over him and obviously in love with him.
If you are familiar with these pages, then you know what I am talking about. Comments such as the following, "He is the best guy I know. He won my heart because he is so hot and fun and cool." "Any woman would be so lucky to have this man." "As soon as I can sell my trailer and move to SLC, this man is mine so back off you B's...." Ok, I made those up. But that's what those comments are like. You can gauge a man's social skills by these swooning comments, the collected broken hearts he keeps on a string. I think most of the guys can't see them for what they are, but the ones with more than 2 of the veiled love letters have got to know and are obviously playa's.
So what was this dude's story? I thought I should find out. I spent an hour Friday night writing a long, thoughtful, descriptive letter telling him about myself. It was witty, it was open, I tried to show glimpses of my soul without being an exhibitionist. Quite a letter. Why bother? I went to all that trouble despite the flashing warning sign, "He's too good to be true!!" because I thought, "maybe". Maybe there really is a super terrific man out there who has just been looking for the right woman and he hasn't found her yet because that woman is me." Please gag me with a spoon. I didn't really believe that thought, but I had nothing better to do so I went with it anyway.
After pushing the send button, I got a reply right back. He said there was so much to say but he was so lazy could we IM? Fine, I wasn't doing anything. And there, the truth was revealed. I'm blown away by the irrationality and freakiness of what I found. Usually, I am the freaky one with the bizarre and paranoid reactions. Oh, no. Not this time. I have included excerpts of our exact IM conversation(thank you archives) because I couldn't reproduce this as well. The typos were his.
Things started out normally with greetings. He complimented my pictures. I told him I took them with a webcam I got from my ex-boyfriend....
I explained to him about an experience I had one night when I was chatting with someone and went to the bathroom. When I returned I was greeted by the man and a view of his goodies, while he was enjoying his goodies if you get my drift. Personally, I think that is a good reason not to let someone you don't know show you his webcam. But despite that, I really just don't like using them, I find it weird and creepy to watch someone staring at their computer. But this guy would not let it go.
Excuse me? I have damage because I don't want your face on my monitor because I don't know you?? That's what I should have said. So I'm the one with issues because I didn't do what you wanted me to?
What the...? Huh? Atoning for who, what? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME. I wouldn't let you watch me type, so that means I'm punishing you for what other men did to me? You're a head case--again, in hindsight that's what I should have said. And, aside from that lunacy, does any woman actually respond to that kind of thing? I was really mad at this point. But I kept chatting because I had nothing better to do and was curious to see what he would do next.
Despite his alleged 'understanding' he kept going on and on about how being online is not the best way to get to know someone but it's better if you can see each other, not hide behind a curtain...blah blah blah Whatever. He just wanted to know if I had gotten fat or put up fake pictures before he wasted chat time on me. I even asked him that and he said "Partly." Hmmm. I told him I would take a new picture and send it but then I couldn't get it to work, then surprise, he had to go out. He said he had fun and wanted to talk again, but yeah. I'm never going to hear from him again. Good riddance. I'm just sorry I wasted so much time writing him a letter.
Now my question to you, dear readers, is this: Am I over-reacting or was that a totally not normal response? I thought he was rude, manipulative, pushy, and . . . dare I say it, damaged?
Last week I got an email that was very bold, compared to the usual "Hi," "Nice profile", "How YOU doing?" . . .you get the idea. The most common thing I've found is that guys send some obscure random question about my profile. (BTW, not effective, it may work as a pickup line in a public place but not on email.) So this guy sent me an actual letter complimenting my tastes and saying he was very interested, I looked like just his type. Intrigued, I checked out his profile. Whoa. My first instinct was, ok, there is something horribly wrong with this man. Why did I respond so cynically? Because he looked too good. He was Mormon, 33, very very tall, good-looking, had a successful career(according to him), and came across as charming--as opposed to the usual socially awkward bloke.
Now, two of any of the above characteristics are enough to make a man prime meat in the singles ward. I learned that the hard way by dating a very tall and very good looking man. That's when I ended up in the nasty quadrangle and gossipy envy. That man had no career, and turned out to be about as dumb as dirt. Yet, women were clawing each other's eyes out for him. As I said, in my experience, a Mormon man needs only two of these golden traits to draw the women like flies on.... And here was a single guy living in Salt Lake(!!!) still single and hitting on me shamelessly. Additionally, the man had about 30 women on his profile gushing over him and obviously in love with him.
If you are familiar with these pages, then you know what I am talking about. Comments such as the following, "He is the best guy I know. He won my heart because he is so hot and fun and cool." "Any woman would be so lucky to have this man." "As soon as I can sell my trailer and move to SLC, this man is mine so back off you B's...." Ok, I made those up. But that's what those comments are like. You can gauge a man's social skills by these swooning comments, the collected broken hearts he keeps on a string. I think most of the guys can't see them for what they are, but the ones with more than 2 of the veiled love letters have got to know and are obviously playa's.
So what was this dude's story? I thought I should find out. I spent an hour Friday night writing a long, thoughtful, descriptive letter telling him about myself. It was witty, it was open, I tried to show glimpses of my soul without being an exhibitionist. Quite a letter. Why bother? I went to all that trouble despite the flashing warning sign, "He's too good to be true!!" because I thought, "maybe". Maybe there really is a super terrific man out there who has just been looking for the right woman and he hasn't found her yet because that woman is me." Please gag me with a spoon. I didn't really believe that thought, but I had nothing better to do so I went with it anyway.
After pushing the send button, I got a reply right back. He said there was so much to say but he was so lazy could we IM? Fine, I wasn't doing anything. And there, the truth was revealed. I'm blown away by the irrationality and freakiness of what I found. Usually, I am the freaky one with the bizarre and paranoid reactions. Oh, no. Not this time. I have included excerpts of our exact IM conversation(thank you archives) because I couldn't reproduce this as well. The typos were his.
Things started out normally with greetings. He complimented my pictures. I told him I took them with a webcam I got from my ex-boyfriend....
BOY: still got that came?
BOY: flip that sucker on!
ME: Not now, I look bad
BOY (10:25:53 PM): please
B: we are beyond that
Me:no, I've had some bad experiences with a webcam and guys I just met
B: sounds like it's time ot get back on the horse
I explained to him about an experience I had one night when I was chatting with someone and went to the bathroom. When I returned I was greeted by the man and a view of his goodies, while he was enjoying his goodies if you get my drift. Personally, I think that is a good reason not to let someone you don't know show you his webcam. But despite that, I really just don't like using them, I find it weird and creepy to watch someone staring at their computer. But this guy would not let it go.
BOY:I can assure you I am decentThat last bit was an exaggeration, I wasn't traumatized but this guy would not let it go. The point was, I didn't want to see his webcam. If he was so decent, why was he so hot for me to look at him? Perhaps he knew that was the best he had to offer? His pretty face. Harumph. I don't like being pushed...
B: and sober
B: andMormon
B: Can you see me?
ME: I haven't turned it on
B: why not?
B: take a look
B: see who you are talking to
ME: please, I was traumatized and I need to know you better first
BOY:so traumatized that you can;t take the risk of LOOKING at me?
B: I an PROMISE you I am not a pervert
B: try me
B: worse case scenerio - you see I am a perv, and you save all this chat
ME: worst case scenario I get another picture in my brain that I don't want...
B: siiiiiigh
B: a 30-year-old girl who si damaged
B: I've seen this movie before
Excuse me? I have damage because I don't want your face on my monitor because I don't know you?? That's what I should have said. So I'm the one with issues because I didn't do what you wanted me to?
ME: you don't get to be interesting without some scars I'm afraid
BOY: I guess so
B: I'll guess I'll just have ot try to gauge just how much atoning you'l make me do for teh sins of past guys in yoru life before I decide how good of frineds we shoudl be
ME: ouch
BOY: what can I say... I've always been drawn to interesting girls
ME: look, I don't trust the online thing. It's nothing personal
B: a lack of trust usually isn't
B: I understand
B: As I've said, I've seen this movie before
B: it's no problem
What the...? Huh? Atoning for who, what? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME. I wouldn't let you watch me type, so that means I'm punishing you for what other men did to me? You're a head case--again, in hindsight that's what I should have said. And, aside from that lunacy, does any woman actually respond to that kind of thing? I was really mad at this point. But I kept chatting because I had nothing better to do and was curious to see what he would do next.
Despite his alleged 'understanding' he kept going on and on about how being online is not the best way to get to know someone but it's better if you can see each other, not hide behind a curtain...blah blah blah Whatever. He just wanted to know if I had gotten fat or put up fake pictures before he wasted chat time on me. I even asked him that and he said "Partly." Hmmm. I told him I would take a new picture and send it but then I couldn't get it to work, then surprise, he had to go out. He said he had fun and wanted to talk again, but yeah. I'm never going to hear from him again. Good riddance. I'm just sorry I wasted so much time writing him a letter.
Now my question to you, dear readers, is this: Am I over-reacting or was that a totally not normal response? I thought he was rude, manipulative, pushy, and . . . dare I say it, damaged?
Collection:
E-Love,
Flirting,
Mr. Webcam
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