I think I am definitely moving. A great apartment has opened up across the hall from my former roommate. It's a 3 room apartment which would give me a living room and an office in addition to having a bedroom. Full kitchen with appliances and room for a table, full bathroom with a bathtub, lots of windows. It will cost me $150 more per month with utilities, and now is not a convenient time to move....BUT, this kind of apartment does not come available often. My friend waited 4 years for one to open up in her friend's building and it never did. She finally moved into that apartment when her friend moved out. She called me on Sunday to tell me about it. It is in New Jersey. *Gasp* which is weird psychologically. But it is 10 minutes from Manhattan by bus, unless it is rush hour. It's a cute neighborhood in a cute town that is right on the river across from NY. I think having my own place in a pretty neighborhood will make my quality of life go way way way up.
The ugly truth is, I'm not bohemian enough for this Brooklyn life I'm trying to live. I like having furniture and my own private space. I get really annoyed when the housemates abuse my Heinkel knives by putting them point down in the drying rack with the silverware, or when they use metal utensils on my really nice teflon pans given to me by my brother. I'm not cool enough to live in this house. There, I said it. I'm 29 years old and I want my own dang apartment. I want a kitchen I can eat in, a living room to watch tv in and an office to work in, rather than doing all of that in my bedroom. I want an apartment where I can keep the cat litter box somewhere other than my bedroom. I hate coming home to a house that smells like curry. I can't stand curry. I hate the incense the girl across the hall burns all the time. I dislike going to get a drink of water at night and being greeted by the sex noises of my housemates and their guests.
One of the best things about the apartment is that I will be living in the same building with Barbara. We had a great time as roommates. She's my best girlfriend in this city. It'll be great having her so close by, I've really missed her. Our friendship was one of those good things that happen that you know didn't come about by chance. She was assigned to live in my apartment by the school and she happened to be in the same field and we got along great as roommates. She really made life bearable for me last year when things started going bad.
Moving away from the neighborhood that inspired 'Do the Right Thing' and into my very own place should help quite a bit with the anxiety. I'll have a sanctuary. The apartment building is on a street that has an awesome view of Manhattan. I can get a bike and go riding.... this will be a very good thing.