Santa Morrissey? Wow.

After my second installment of Morrissey this evening, I decided to run behind the theater before the encore finished. Last time, I got there way too late to catch him. (Another fab show, by the way, they mixed the set list up a lot. A bit less energetic than Monday's but word is he has a cold.)

While the crowd clapped and stomped for more, I quickly exited the Apollo. I could still hear the last song playing as I walked up 126th. Morrissey's driver had parked his car right in front of the door, the engine running, and the lights on. The door to the back seat was open. Guards held the theater door open. There were barricades and security guards on the sidewalk and me, the only person there.

One of the guards said, "Any second now." Then the song ended and out came two men, one obviously a body guard, the other one...? Well, it could only be Morrissey. The man hunched over wearing a Santa Claus beard and wrapped in a tan, hooded raincoat. The guard held him around the shoulders and they rushed into the black caddy. One of the guards said, "He's a real shy one." That wins understatement of the year award. I watched in shock. I could see the shadows of Moz removing his disguise. Before the car pulled away I waved at the tinted window. Wow. It makes me sad for him and a little ashamed of myself. (I've met a lot of bands this way. I forgot he isn't like any other.)

I've realized why I loved the shows so much. Because while Morrissey was on stage singing, I truly forgot everything else. Like how I haven't had a good night's sleep in 4 years and I've lost 30 pounds from stress. And how everything I love sucks because I can't escape the exhaustion. Tonight I had a reprieve. That's what Morrissey does. He mesmerizes until all the badness from life goes away. I smiled, laughed, sang and was delighted for the whole hour. That's a rare and precious gift these days. Thanks, Santa? I'll try to go one more time. It's 4 blocks from my house, how can I not? Don't worry, I won't write about him again. Unless he announces that he wants to talk to the girl who waited for him outside on Thursday because he is madly in love with me and can't go on living without me anymore. If that happens, I'll let you know. ;-)

Come back for more TRUE stories of the strange, sad and pathetically hilarious exploits of me not having sex in the city.