tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66793552011-11-27T18:54:14.872-05:00Misadventures of urban life and dating for a Mormon woman living in Gotham. She's single! She's sexy!....She's celibate. These are her stories.JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.comBlogger2711100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-45925516378187882042011-07-05T13:48:00.002-04:002011-08-04T12:15:24.171-04:00

*This was written by a friend of mine who wanted to get this message out. --JL To Whom It May Concern:                                                                               June 28, 2011  The inactivity within the Church for singles over thirty is at least over 80%.  It’s unreal. It’s surreal. It’s tragic. And it is largely invisible.  Without a doubt, I am convinced that this is the

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com39tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-89231517720183585682011-06-14T22:32:00.000-04:002011-06-14T22:32:39.189-04:00

I feel better today. Not for any good reason.  Nothing has changed. I'm still in the exact same circumstances as yesterday.  My bi-polar mood switch flipped in the night. I actually smiled at people today. And I got my grades submitted on time. Yay, me.   This has been the pattern for the last two years. Under the extreme duress of my dire circumstances, I'm taken to the very edge of the

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-77570096676940734932011-06-13T16:20:00.001-04:002011-06-13T16:29:51.313-04:00

I'm not doing well. I hung in through the end of the semester and hoped and prayed for the best. I hoped that I would get summer classes or that my lawsuit would settle in time. Neither of those things have happened. There's no more unemployment. There's nothing.  I'm scared.  I may have to move back to Florida to live with my parents. The shame of that makes me want to vomit.  I probably won't

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-35722062936545891392011-05-18T17:13:00.004-04:002011-05-18T17:30:33.979-04:00

So. My life won't be changing any time in the next year.    Of the 3 schools I applied to: PhD 1 said No. PhD 2 said Yes, but it was too late for funding. There's no way I can go to graduate school in London without funding.  The reason there was no money left for me?  They said something went terribly wrong on their end and they don't know why they didn't review my application until April. 

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-38366140337768091992011-04-05T12:18:00.000-04:002011-04-05T12:18:52.574-04:00

 Parts and Labor: Nowhere's Nigh. Favorite song from last year.  A band out of the Brooklyn scene. The trend is to play synthesizer a la 80s New Wave with punk guitar and rhythms. Also, very reminiscent of 90s Shoegazer music.  It's the perfect combo and makes me very happy.  Hooray for the death of Emo music!!!  Warning: The songs below are not happy. They make me happy right now, but if

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-85454715334797138202011-03-12T10:13:00.001-05:002011-03-12T10:38:25.998-05:00

The big 3-5 today! Yipee. Funny thing is turning 34 was more of a crisis. It messed me up for a month. I guess I got it out of the way. This is the year I am changing my life. I can not keep living this way.  I have to stop the unstable seasonal employment without benefits. And I can't live with my unfinished doctoral work hanging like a millstone on my neck. I have to let it go. I can't finish

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-43495018106261818852011-03-04T10:52:00.001-05:002011-03-04T11:13:44.590-05:00

My closure is progressing. I have passed the crisis point I reached last week. [I also needed to deal with my feelings because one of the gentlemen pursuing me returns from the west coast this month. He already asked me to go out with him when he gets back. He is a good prospect (not Mormon), if he loses the ponytail.] I wrote a closure letter to xbf last week, it's mostly an apology. I worked

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-63505018211646650352011-03-03T14:00:00.001-05:002011-03-03T14:15:45.187-05:00

Many of you know that music is very important to me. I am very picky. I found the best radio station I've ever heard. NY Public Radio broadcasts their morning show, John in the Morning, from 9-1 EST. It's a Seattle station. They generally play independent/alternative/punk/new wave songs. Old and new. From 1977-now. I wholeheartedly endorse the John show. The DJs program their own playlists,

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-29683491518113022962011-02-25T19:53:00.007-05:002011-03-04T10:53:35.625-05:00

I've suffered through some anniversaries lately. It brought back the pain of losing my xbf all over again.  The one year anniversary of our first break-up, Valentine's Day when we had our first fake friendship non-date that ended with a lot of kissing and ultimately disaster.  Even the Egyptian revolution tortured me with memories. (There's a story  behind that.)  I never stopped hurting for him,

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-38252237614949555192011-02-11T14:56:00.000-05:002011-02-11T14:56:42.967-05:00

I have a lot of things going on in my mind these days.  That's what happens when my mood stabilizes or goes manic, whichever.  (I got back on meds in December).  When that happens it feels like I am waking up from a hazy sleep, from not being fully alive -- a sort of sleepwalking.  It's creepy. And stressful, because when I wake up I have to clean up the mess I made by sleeping. This post may be

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-82307672418646105182011-01-25T14:41:00.003-05:002011-01-26T12:30:01.065-05:00

Savvy Single Christian continues our discussion on her quality blog HERE By the way-- the woman who wrote the Op-Ed got a book deal about finally giving it up. Ahem . . . so I am not having sex AND have no book deal. There is no justice.

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-77556973888339758392011-01-24T15:13:00.000-05:002011-01-24T15:13:04.567-05:00

After writing my last post. I decided it was time for me to pray to see if I should or could leave the church --Maybe it just isn't for me anymore. I felt good about that, it felt like the right thing to do. But that is not a casual prayer, I wanted to wait. I would wait for Sunday and fast, if I still had the guts to do it by then. Saturday morning I woke up feeling a bit forlorn. (Not

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-8828928111979247312011-01-21T22:56:00.006-05:002011-01-23T15:23:30.858-05:00

Read this, if you can stomach it. I just found it while checking my traffic stats. Although, it says nothing new. It's also 2 weeks old, ancient in blogosphere time. http://bycommonconsent.com/2011/01/12/the-value-of-shame-in-mormonism/ A woman wrote an Op-Ed piece for the NY Times about being 35, and a single, celibate Mormon. Then she explains why she is giving up the law of chastity. I didn't

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-85370963448173663502011-01-04T23:26:00.001-05:002011-01-23T15:10:44.630-05:00

Dear Celibate: I am 24 years old, almost 25, and am a recent convert to the Church.  I live in the NE, where there aren't many members.  This summer though, I am moving to Arizona where there are lots of singles (hopefully my age?).  I recently had a very hard break up to a guy that I was supposed to marry.  It has been very tough for me, but I am starting to move on and realize that there

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-32269569423104562482010-12-08T00:19:00.003-05:002011-01-23T15:01:27.182-05:00

Dear Celibate, I met a really attractive and intelligent woman at a party a few weeks ago.  It was a public event at an art gallery.  She was a high school teacher in her early thirties (I'm 27) and seemed very educated and sophisticated.  She had classic curves - large bust, narrow waist, shapely legs/hips, etc., but not what I would consider "overweight", and was wearing an outfit that

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-85779058199712252432010-11-14T01:34:00.001-05:002011-03-04T10:54:47.607-05:00

In response to my 'Someone please explain' sob story post, I got two insightful emails. I didn't want to be greedy and keep the wisdom all to myself. Both emailers gave me permission to post their thoughts. So I have included them here.  This is somewhat of a mish-mashed guest post. (With some edits to their words, I hope they don't mind.) I.  A long-time reader and blog friend, Ethesis (Stephen

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-16961947112009534232010-11-02T15:40:00.001-04:002010-11-05T21:24:42.377-04:00

Here's a video of the event. This was last year's.  I love New York.

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-56807712607362560762010-11-01T16:12:00.006-04:002011-03-04T10:56:27.914-05:00

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. Especially in NYC, it's crazy fun. Last year's Halloween was epic. And, at an event on the 30th-- a showing of Nosferatu accompanied by the organ at St. John the Divine followed by a parade of ghouls-- I met my last ex-boyfriend. He happened to be a successful horror novelist, and the poetry of our meeting was not lost on either of us. After the event, 

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-89254850805354411042010-10-21T14:07:00.001-04:002010-10-21T14:12:54.387-04:00

 John Silva of Single Mormon Male blog left this comment to The Double Standard post.  I invited him to submit a guest post and he has. I appreciate having a young man's perspective. JL asked: "What I wonder, is if single LDS men have a reversed double standard? Are they more selective with mo'women than they are with non-LDS women? They're probably less likely to date outside the church.

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-66691443214421188702010-10-13T18:31:00.011-04:002010-10-15T15:53:33.229-04:00

From Elder Boyd K. Packer's talk "Cleansing the Inner Vessel" at the Fall 2010 Conference:  To be entrusted with the power to create life carries with it the greatest of joys and dangerous temptations. The gift of mortal life and the capacity to kindle other lives is a supernal blessing. Through the righteous exercise of this power, as in nothing else, we may come close to our Father in

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-15740733180530712332010-10-04T14:34:00.009-04:002010-10-05T13:13:13.183-04:00

Until very recently I practiced a gross double standard when it came to men. I'm not talking about the difference between Jimmy Choo shoes and a pair of Kenneth Coles, more like Jimmy Choo to Payless Shoes. Regular men needed to be of Jimmy Choo quality while Mormon men only needed to be shoes. For regular men, here is what I wanted: Educated, attractive, fun, intelligent, good taste, sane, and

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-15630391671231799532010-09-27T20:17:00.003-04:002010-10-01T22:36:01.765-04:00

Has anyone else read The Castle by Kafka? It was an unfinished novel, which, if you've read it,  you know how ironic and true the incompleteness is in itself.  There was no way to end that book.  That was the whole point, the endless frustration of modern life and bureaucracy, the meaninglessness of ambition which will never be fulfilled. . . how the pointless striving can steal the life that you

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-65122235253507945862010-09-23T20:39:00.003-04:002010-09-23T23:06:45.692-04:00

About a month ago, during a massive mood swing up out of my June-July depression, I decided I should get out of my head.  First, I probably should get out of my house. Why?  Because.  Today, I had an interview for one  of the volunteer jobs I wanted.  I applied in August with resume, references, and a cover letter.  (This is NYC, nothing is easy.)  It's near the ocean, working with animals. The

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-44234930119475492342010-09-21T14:36:00.010-04:002010-09-22T18:43:52.132-04:00

Sunday, I was too sad to go to church. The very thought of going made me cry. But, my friend needed me to watch her infant while she worked in the nursery. So I went. The sacrament hymn was something dour and awful about the angels weeping for the savior's pain. I started crying and couldn't stop. I made it through sacrament and the first short talk by keeping my head down and sucking on

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-51236835114305264232010-09-14T15:24:00.006-04:002010-09-17T15:22:06.805-04:00

I wanted to lighten things up around here. This is a re-run from 2005.  I'd like to see what readers enjoy about their single lives, so leave a comment and let us know.  These are things that give marrieds reason to envy singles.  Here's a happy list of non-sucking things in my life that I may possibly miss if I ever get married: (In no particular order)  I answer to no one. I do whatever I

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-14413089548392352282010-09-07T14:19:00.002-04:002010-09-07T14:39:52.299-04:00

Dear Divorced in the North, You had a 2 part question, so I've split these up.(see part 1 here or below) How do you avoid being negative and bitter?  It plagues singles. The dark nights. Endless disappointment and broken hearts. Hopelessness. It's enough to make one very negative.  Bitter is a good word for it. Forgive.  Forgive yourself.  Forgive the world, fate, the church, women, and your

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-71168724204128897562010-09-07T13:57:00.004-04:002010-09-15T23:02:39.164-04:00

Dear Celibate, I am 31, divorced and with a child that I see every other weekend and on special occasions. I am very active in the Church, there wasn't any abuse or adultery or anything like that. Simply put we married way young and I never loved her and married due to the pressure of my various influences. Anyways friends were telling me to get out of it even before we got engaged. In fact

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-35020724121494323192010-08-28T15:44:00.011-04:002010-08-30T15:16:30.541-04:00

You see us sometimes, on some Sundays. The days we actually go. The adult singles . You see one person sitting alone here or there among the pews. Mostly, they go unnoticed. They don’t have squirming, screaming babies to draw your attention. They didn’t have play group with you last week. They’re not in the bishopric. A single might teach your children in primary, or gave a particularly memorable

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-82915331509563524892010-08-25T19:45:00.001-04:002010-08-25T19:48:33.851-04:00

I'm totally cheating here, re-posting an old post. But this is 6 years old. I doubt anyone out there remembers it. The real reason I'm doing this is research. The original comments to this post got lost several template changes ago. Please tell us your Best Worst singles dance experience! Or, if you have a GOOD dance experience, let's hear that as well. Use the comments. Thank you! I just

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-16569650026159467182010-08-17T13:55:00.009-04:002010-08-18T19:49:24.394-04:00

Gentlemen, it's all about the profile picture.  I've been online looking around at the dating sites and have noticed patterns that turn me off.  I think you all need a little help. Consider this, people scan through a hundred or more profile pictures, each photo gets less than a second's consideration. The viewers eyes won't stop on a photo unless it grabs her attention.  Her attention can be

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-45989226223383595002010-08-13T15:48:00.009-04:002010-08-21T11:04:59.683-04:00

Ever since my plans fell through in the spring and things changed unexpectedly, I have been unable to envision my future. Before, I always hoped and planned.  Now I can't.  It feels like a blindness. I feel lost and directionless. I don't even know what to hope for anymore. One thing I do know is that the Lord needs me to learn something from this. Until I figure out what that is, I'm not getting

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-85014590991283775542010-08-05T12:58:00.002-04:002010-08-24T12:08:59.691-04:00

I was able to get my internet turned back on for now. I've been too depressed to write. My medication doesn't work anymore and my mood cycles every few weeks. When compounded with real actual depressing life circumstances in addition to my messed up brain chemistry.... not a good thing.  I'm sinking deeper and can't see my way out.  I can't even see a reason to fight it anymore. Nothing I try

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-63187885851970387402010-06-19T18:55:00.017-04:002010-06-22T22:19:52.308-04:00

Updated with a new #8!  A frequent commenter on this blog recently suggested I write a book of dating advice for LDS singles.  I don't feel qualified to write that book for women, I feel like I haven't figured it out for myself yet.  But, I definitely know what the Mormon men out there are doing wrong.  This got me thinking. First, I'm not trying to beat up on Mormon men, they've got it hard

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-4877976659912985202010-06-16T17:06:00.007-04:002010-06-17T23:59:06.587-04:00

It makes me sad mostly.  Another single woman 30+ in my ward has tried to befriend me.  But.  I don't care for her friendship.  I tried.  I could tell she was lonely and  in need of companionship, I knew what that was like. So, I felt duty-bound to accept her overtures as a comrade in arms.  Some expensive debacles later, I realized that I couldn't afford her friendship.  We have since maintained

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-65358380293480496362010-06-10T18:42:00.025-04:002010-06-17T20:12:55.328-04:00

The levels of my incompetence and failure are astounding.  I just defaulted on my student loan. I didn't qualify for an economic hardship deferment because I was only working part-time.  You have to be full-time.  They could have told me this last month when I tried to file but they said I didn't send proof of income that time.  Or, when I tried to file for deferment when I was unemployed, they

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-4172494819961557662010-06-07T13:56:00.036-04:002010-06-09T11:44:55.812-04:00

Being on vacation is awesome.  Being unemployed is painful and depressing.  I've decided to take a summer vacation, not be unemployed.  The two concepts have few differences.  In both cases: I don't have to get up early in the morning, I have few responsibilities, and my time is my own.  Whether I feel good or bad about it depends on the way I define my situation.  I choose vacation and

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-32694266437524529902010-06-03T13:54:00.029-04:002010-06-03T22:54:46.307-04:00

My life has been peppered with miracles, some bigger than others.  Some, were small things that maybe shouldn't have happened because the odds were staggering, but, they happened anyway.  These little moments are easy to ignore, or brush off as coincidence or luck.  And, maybe they were.  Other events, cannot be denied in any such way.  I have had some undeniably miraculous things happen to me.

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-47197061167855190032010-05-31T14:56:00.083-04:002011-04-05T11:26:15.711-04:00

"Look, all the light's gone out of your pretty face, just like it's gone out of George." * My mind and heart are divided against themselves. Conflicting desires, the cold steely knife of reason, and the ache of longing and regret all swirl around inside me. I lost the best relationship and the best man I've ever had because I'm Mormon. That wasn't the only reason, but it was primary.

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-49036539349131616262010-05-26T15:49:00.020-04:002011-03-04T11:01:23.673-05:00

Married life is complicated. Granted. Not being married, I don't have to deal with raising children, complex budgets and schedules, living with other people and all the other tangible complications of having a family. But, not having to deal with those complexities does not make my life simple. Regarding tangibles, yes, it is simple. I only have to take care of myself. I have far fewer

City JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03623439260681143355noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-23319327109704586822010-05-21T13:43:00.011-04:002010-06-05T12:39:20.741-04:00

When he. . . .:1. Promised to take me dancing but showed me a DVD in his apartment. (For obvious reasons, he wanted to make-out and then some.) 2. Told me he couldn't stop staring at the slutty girl's breasts. (Wasn't that nice, and so honest of him?) 3. Told me off because I forgot he had to feed his sick cat at 8pm. (Actually, all I did was ask if we could see an earlier movie than the 10 pm,

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-15537364181784490692010-05-20T12:43:00.006-04:002010-05-20T13:18:42.516-04:00

In response to my last post, 'Why No Single Bishops', my friend told me that you have to be a High Priest to be bishop.  No one is a High Priest until he has taken all the temple covenants, including marriage.  I suppose there is a doctrinal reason for this.  Can someone explain it to me?  It seems unnecessary.  Because someone was not lucky enough to find a person to marry, and that excludes him

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-29503992630776104602010-05-18T22:43:00.008-04:002010-05-20T13:19:14.943-04:00

Has anyone ever known a Ward Bishop who was unmarried?  Is it some unofficial standard or an written rule?  Because there is definitely marriage discrimination happening.  I have never encountered a  bishop who was single.  Nor have I ever seen a single in the Bishopric, except for the ward clerk, of course.  They like sticking single men with that job.  I complained to my mother about this,

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-5894777890540459102010-05-15T03:46:00.017-04:002010-05-24T12:00:43.113-04:00

Last night I taught my last classes at the college that asked me to leave. It was heartbreaking, and also nice. Quite a few students wanted to know what I else I would be teaching, they wanted to take more classes from me. In the hallway, I ran into a student from the year before. She told me how much she loved my class, it was her favorite, and she learned a lot. After the last section of the

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-44907417509202817812010-05-12T14:30:00.025-04:002010-05-22T14:03:59.551-04:00

I decided to stop whining about my unfriendly, exclusive, cliquey ward.  Instead, as Ghandi advised, I would become the change I desired.  I would be a friendly, welcoming person.  I wanted to seek out the new people, loners, and misfits to befriend them.  In January, I saw an older gentleman looking at me in the lobby.  I hadn't seen him before.  I smiled and said hello.  We started talking. He

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-43623875604513495692010-05-10T13:45:00.013-04:002010-09-15T15:58:45.790-04:00

continued from this post What did I have to learn from Ruth? I had no lightning bolt revelation that night, mostly I found comfort. I did have to think about what the book could tell me about my own situation. II hadn't read the story since high school. Reading it again, I saw a different story than the one that was always presented to us as children. Ruth was faithful, loving, rebellious when

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-57675186520857301152010-05-10T00:09:00.010-04:002010-05-29T12:34:06.969-04:00

More than once, in personal blessings, I have been told to search the scriptures for answers to all my 'pertinent questions'. I was promised I would find answers there, and could use this gift to plan my life. I haven't made much use of it. It seemed so general and obvious, even dubious. But it was repeated, I was meant to notice and remember. While lying in bed recently, I did remember.

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-55986777390854805842010-05-07T04:21:00.032-04:002010-05-16T18:16:38.825-04:00

It's 3 am. I haven't been sleeping. Today was hard. I've been angry this week, very angry.  I discovered a new vein on the side of my forehead. Tuesday, at work in the bathroom mirror, I could see this vein bulging out thick with blood, it did that all night. No vein today, but every time I let the anger go, tears welled up. Mostly this happened between classes at work, so I had to suck it up and

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-30857402756991670612010-05-05T14:27:00.032-04:002010-05-10T00:37:19.596-04:00

Jill asked for the story on the ticket guy. So, here it is. I bought my ticket  for the Bunnymen show from a guy in my concert group.  The idea of the group is to meet people to go to events with. It was just the two of us for this one. So, who is this guy?  I didn't care. But I took a quick peek at his profile so I'd know him when I saw him. There was one small picture. He was okay looking.

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-17924212888240393592010-05-03T11:55:00.019-04:002010-05-04T23:15:35.935-04:00

The show was great, they put on a good performance and played for almost 2 hours, including 2 encores. I didn't notice the time pass, didn't want them to stop. No one else did either, despite it being past most of their bed times (the crowd was old.) I sang and danced and yelled, everything one should do at a pop/rock concert, (post-punk concert more precisely, as if there's a difference anymore)

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-30478479389909641472010-04-29T23:01:00.064-04:002010-05-03T14:43:27.944-04:00

Oh, yea. (circa 1983) [Look for the guy in the totally rad shorts!] The Very Best of Echo & the Bunnymen: More Songs to Learn and Sing I just bought a $50 ticket from some dude to see Echo and the Bunnymen on Saturday at the Filmore. I can in no way afford this, my rent check will bounce if they cash it on time. They usually don't, but I don't care if they do. Right now, this matters more.

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-21478005294780066812010-04-29T21:51:00.018-04:002010-05-19T12:26:19.181-04:00

My completely unexpected termination letter (AKA letter of non-reappointment), that came in the mail from the Provost's Office, signed by the Provost, said that there were no classes for me because of the new hires and changing student patterns. (?)  I knew this had to be b.s. because I have seniority over most of the adjuncts.  My friend told me to ask what the deal was.  I didn't want to, but I

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-54503404293537541942010-04-28T13:05:00.021-04:002010-04-30T16:38:06.760-04:00

First, I would like to assure my readers that they should fear no more bad poetry on this blog. It seemed like a good idea at 3 a.m. Besides, you know you have bad poetry hidden in the back of a drawer somewhere. Uh-huh, exactly. Free Blog Poll Poll Results are coming in... The tribe has spoken, we have an overwhelming winner of the Future of CitC blogpoll. Results below, including JL's

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-41453583148037714352010-04-26T23:57:00.006-04:002010-08-26T17:22:40.499-04:00

We are on the phone You say those words I think I hear them Again! and again! You say it. Goodbye. From you reasons roll Fall on my ears Escape my hold None will still To explain them. Goodbye. Tilting the room Graying our world Stealing my breath These dozens confuse Such nonsense. Goodbye. Except for this One soft whimper Your voice stops to weep: I am hurting Loving you hurts me. Goodbye.

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-31888369088462682462010-04-26T00:11:00.026-04:002010-05-20T13:19:14.945-04:00

12 babies, I counted 12 babies in sacrament meeting at church today. And those were just the ones I could see from the back row. There had to be more that I couldn't see. We also have 6 openly pregnant woman, all of whom currently have babies. Church is beginning to feel like Gymboree. I know there are distinctions between toddlers and infants, etc. But if it wears diapers, I'm calling it a

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-42968060409990047612010-04-23T19:34:00.056-04:002010-04-27T22:09:07.668-04:00

[ATTN: END OF POST UPDATED on 4/24]Last spring, in the midst of a torrid long distance love affair with a boy in Scotland, I had an idea. What if I went to the UK....? He couldn't come to the States and we had to be together. (Despite never having met in person. Anyway,) Could I transfer to a university over there? It's the easiest way to get a visa. And, . . . And! I wouldn't have to take more

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-62054712858613441162010-04-22T12:18:00.038-04:002010-04-25T19:37:24.409-04:00

The applications for a new start are in. Now, I wait. The end of March is when the schools make their decisions. But postal mail between the US and UK is very slow. So, nothing yet. I've been watching the mail since mid-March. The first few weeks, I dreaded it, fearing a rejection letter. Now it's April; I'm being sued, well, I already lost by default, and I got fired, and I caused a second

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-72870583522841114372010-04-20T10:52:00.020-04:002010-05-20T13:19:14.946-04:00

No more men. No more dates. No more wasted energy and time. As my friend Angela said, "you can't get orange juice from apples, no matter how hard you squeeze." I've been squeezing apples with no oranges in sight.I have things to do. I have to get my career on track. Dig myself out of this financial hole. Create the life I always wanted; that I was on track to achieve until I got hit with the

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-9339343985862197832010-04-18T11:24:00.010-04:002010-04-25T04:21:22.614-04:00

VOTE in my POLL! (on sidebar)------------------->I'm looking for suggestions. I'm back online because I need a hobby, suddenly having more time on my hands. Now, what to do with CitC? Originally, I had planned to get a book deal from the blog. That was way back in 2004. Since 2006 I have essentially been a useless human being who has produced nothing. No Phd. No Celibate book. Instead, 2 other

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-68769709823371775632010-04-17T14:16:00.048-04:002011-03-04T10:58:34.205-05:00

I couldn't write for a long time. I got lost. Now I have a lot to say. The past year has been unbelievably eventful. Here's the short version of the last 12 months of my life. It started with the shock and insult received from the director of my graduate program, telling me to give up and go teach community college. In February, I had a crazy love affair with someone in Scotland. The passion

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-26040554624681752532009-08-10T19:45:00.007-04:002010-04-24T16:27:33.002-04:00

I came across this blog post today, it horrified me. Is this really what men think of us? I'm going to assume that these are the conclusions of a special type of man. Nevertheless, it was published and needs correcting.Askmen.comThe writer gives his explanation of 'Women's mind games'. His basic response to each 'game' said that women are trying to gain power in the relationship. Granted, some

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-37301631188541235252009-07-22T23:00:00.008-04:002010-05-15T04:20:36.534-04:00

Hello. Again. Still. I seriously considered shutting this whole operation down, removing it from the web even. Many of my own posts make me blush. Some I am ashamed of... but only because of my attitude, nothing else. I felt prompted to return tonight. Nothing has changed here. Still single, celibate, mormon, grad school drop-out, teetering on financial ruin....feeling completely lost. And so

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-10794730660088159392008-11-07T16:30:00.006-05:002010-05-20T13:19:14.947-04:00

*From Laura Marling's song "New Romantic" You can watch the video below. This should be the theme song for every single woman over 25. Here I am again. A rainy day in the city. Mood has been low the last two weeks, beyond that I don't remember. I got fired in August as retribution for taking a disability leave, which I only took to avoid getting fired in the first place.... but I am better off

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-48268618717660207112008-09-09T16:49:00.021-04:002010-05-12T19:47:47.031-04:00

It is a whole new day. I am in love again. It happened when watching the Fashion Shows on TV this weekend [(NYC TV--ch. 25) or Fullfrontalfashion.com ] I noticed that the music was freaking awesome. Music I had never heard before, and yet it sounded so familiar. I had to know the names of these bands! What was going on!?!? I stayed up all night on the computer researching, from one url to

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-87929444811916309932008-05-25T00:52:00.007-04:002008-11-09T01:21:37.634-05:00

This is not OK. I cannot work for these people. It is not OK for your long distance supervisor to put you on probation and then ask 'What are your feelings about this?' EXCUSE ME?! WHAT DO YOU THINK MY FEELINGS ARE??? You just told me my performance is unacceptable! I knew I couldn't say what I wanted to: "It's none of your damn business about my feelings'. So I tried to think of the answer she

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-16048808066133936622008-03-20T01:26:00.001-04:002010-04-24T20:13:33.192-04:00

He did not say "no". He said "yes". He would like to see me.The time for my grand gesture is NOW. I'm going to cancel classes and drive 1000 miles to see him. Soon. When I can get away, I'm hoping in 2 weekends. We will see if we still have chemistry. If he still makes me flutter. If his sad round sky-blue eyes will welcome me in.And, we will see:Why he came looking for me after the divorce?

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-59837591841124810112007-11-03T17:45:00.002-04:002010-04-25T20:08:41.558-04:00

Farmer Ted only made me cry once during Morrissey week. Which isn't bad considering I went to the Monday night show with him, that's when I made him cry. On Tuesday, I had to watch him with his girlfriend from the mezzanine. But Morrissey makes everything feel better, for a few hours.Before the last concert, Ted sent me an ugly text reply to my teasing one. He was upset because I didn't help him

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-44137683316703662802007-10-24T23:08:00.002-04:002010-04-24T16:23:24.125-04:00

You didn't think I could go without blogging about his 5 night stint in the city, did you?Je Suis Morrissey?! Only Moz himself would wear and/or sell a shirt like that. Such is the madness of a Morrissey concert! (No stage rushers could get past the security at the first show and only one or two made it to the stage the 2nd night. By the weekend, Morrissey must have told the guards to let the

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-49720762921648383942007-10-24T19:55:00.000-04:002007-10-25T21:50:37.282-04:00

Too much is happening. Two Morrissey concerts saturated with volatile emotion, dear friends visiting on the weekend--and more Morrissey, disgust with Farmer Ted, sorrow for his sweet girlfriend, confusion at work, the best observation ever!, the best students ever!, my mother's breast cancer, new medicine headaches . . . and then, there is this . . . some knot that lives deep inside me

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-2749024558972513032007-10-17T22:02:00.001-04:002010-08-24T14:37:45.254-04:00

My talk with the Bishop has born fruit already. He did listen to me and take me seriously! Since then, late August, the ward has gotten CES missionaries for the first time, started Institute classes, started monthly family home evening, and the Bishop has called me twice just to check up on me, missionaries have dropped by, and I had a home teacher visit. Very, very impressive. On top of all

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-58114883563347964052007-10-17T21:41:00.000-04:002007-10-18T22:55:18.839-04:00

I will take this calling seriously. Despite my whining, I am grateful to have the opportunity. I desperately need to do more service and get out of my own head. As part of my commitment, I have come up with a list of things I wish I had learned in Young Women. Because, I don't know that I learned anything applicable to my life. This may be too harsh, something clearly sunk in since I am

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-48621093832356404102007-10-14T13:13:00.000-04:002007-10-18T01:46:25.745-04:00

After all these years. I can hardly believe it.Exactly what I said would happen, has. Only, I expected it to take longer, and for his sake, I wanted to be wrong. My old boyfriend George, the best man I ever dated and the one I wanted to marry, the one who hurt me the most, the one I believed was for me . . . and now this.Interesting timing. Last week I decided I was done with Farmer Ted for the

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-50473332664949996452007-10-08T22:47:00.000-04:002007-10-18T01:32:10.688-04:00

"Troll 2? Never heard of it, there was a Troll 1?""Yes, but this movie had nothing to do with the first one. And there are no trolls in it.""Nice..."While on one of our non-date movie outings, Farmer Ted asked if I wanted to see "Troll 2" at a special midnight showing. Sure.Later, he mentioned that 'his girl' was going too. Excuse me? Did you just invite me on your date with your girlfriend? "Oh?

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-26275939095976584192007-10-08T21:38:00.000-04:002007-10-08T22:16:04.862-04:00

I used the term 'emo boys' in this previous post. One reader asked what an 'emo boy' is. Having thought about it, I realized I do not know what an emo boy is. And, upon further reflection, the gentlemen to which I referred were really wannabe 'hipsters'. If you'd like to know exactly what a hipster is, watch this video of the Hipster Olympics. Very Entertaining and wickedly accurate. The boys

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-12162965752443245492007-10-08T21:36:00.000-04:002007-10-18T01:24:11.213-04:00

The ironic thing about meeting Farmer Ted is that he has scared me into going back to church. Knowing how close I came, how much I wanted to give up this chastity thing, and how resentful it made me, showed me how far I have gone from the Lord. He showed me I need to get my behind back on the pew every Sunday.So, I did go to church, on that Sunday after he told me about his 'new girl'. The ward

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-33685686860314324072007-10-01T21:25:00.000-04:002007-10-15T12:53:45.399-04:00

When should you tell your date you are religious and celibate?Votes:2--Right when you meet4--On the first date**16--After first date, but before they ask you to come home with them1--When they start groping you4--Never! Live and let live baby.And the winner is: After the first date, but before they ask you to come home with them.

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-3235115274383271922007-09-16T20:57:00.000-04:002007-10-18T01:37:12.079-04:00

He is no playboy. He has no idea what to do with two women. He hasn't the slightest clue what he is doing, nor what game he plays. My girlfriend has renamed him 'Farmer Ted' from "16 Candles," because he bumbles about like an inexperienced adolescent. See for yourself . . .Farmer Ted and I have continued our flirtations, despite the fact he is seeing someone else.I met his new 'girl'. She was a

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-75969465280480209802007-09-16T19:10:00.000-04:002007-09-16T21:43:05.243-04:00

What a wild ride this month has been, drama, change, drama, change.... all is a whirlwind. Too much to keep up with on here. Mostly good things. Things that need their own posts, their own detailed examinations, things I need to share: what happened when I confronted the bishop about how much the singles are neglected in our ward, Why International Playboy earned the new name 'Farmer Ted' (of 16

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-4613789397890700972007-08-20T16:14:00.000-04:002007-08-20T20:22:00.183-04:00

I accepted the corporate job as an Admin Assistant to the Sales team of a global HR consulting company. I turned it down twice, but they wouldn't accept my answer. The truth is that it was obviously the better and grown up choice, I just didn't want to do it. However, I am also going to be teaching one night class this semester. Am I excited about the job? No. I had to bite the bullet. But these

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-42482681716687692682007-08-16T13:02:00.000-04:002007-08-20T20:23:36.976-04:00

I know I promised new dating stories this week, but, a crisis hit. My sad adjuncting/graduate student career and the suffering which has ensued as a result of it, may have reached an end. An end for which I am not prepared. This summer, I had no classes to teach. That means I had no income. That is a very bad thing. In late April, I began looking for summer work, temp jobs or a more stable full

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-13107824949061847172007-08-12T12:03:00.000-04:002007-08-12T22:23:47.619-04:00

Amen, Brother Mick. I need a friend, not another man trying to get into my pants.International Playboy and I did go to another movie, "Sunshine", which was amazing. (It felt like a '2001' on steroids, but with Danny Boyle's touch of genius.) We had an awesome time. I've decided he is a good guy and he does really want to be friends. I don't think he has a creepy agenda or is trying to play any

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-69061197714432875222007-08-10T21:14:00.000-04:002007-10-18T01:07:08.624-04:00

Just because I was angry, and I had a bad time, I assumed we couldn't be friends. How self-centered of me! Then a few days passed, I had some conversations, posted my blog therapy, and reconsidered things. Why did I think he was angry? Did he do anything angry? Nope. Nothing at all.He spent the whole evening laughing. Even when I told him to do something obscene, and meant it as an insult, he

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-21309324479599250532007-08-08T10:46:00.000-04:002007-10-18T01:09:12.230-04:00

It's a whole new day. Despite the flooded out trains and subways this morning--making a nightmare commute for most New Yorkers, I feel much better. And not just because my commute only took 10 minutes longer than usual. (The woman working next to me spent 4 hours on her bus from Queens!) I feel better because I think my faith in humanity is restored.I always believed that a truly good man,

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-57094459333672523092007-08-05T14:46:00.000-04:002010-05-20T13:19:14.948-04:00

Most readers who responded to my Manifesto said something like, "the spiritual needs of single people are not different from those of married people," and "church is not about meeting one's social needs, it's about the atonement," so, basically, I should get over myself. But I will not. It is true. I need something from the church that married people do not.The life of a single person can get

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-53007855876689255262007-08-04T18:59:00.000-04:002010-05-20T13:19:14.949-04:00

My intention here is not to bash the Mormon church, or to merely have a space to complain. I wanted to give single members of the church a voice, be someone who could speak for them and to them, because when I started this blog, there was no such entity. I also got tired of telling the same dating stories to all my friends. This way, I could refer them to the blog when they called to inquire

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-35142946529227734482007-08-02T22:34:00.001-04:002008-11-09T01:02:22.189-05:00

We* can't be friends! And I am not OK with this. *see prior posts here* and hereWe went to see a special showing of '16 Candles' in Chelsea. But, professionals that they are, for the first half hour there was either no sound, or it was in black and white. So the whole theater, mostly full of queens, was very rowdy and restless. Everyone shouted out quotes from Long Duc Dong and cooed over '

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-1763446513534241572007-07-31T15:58:00.001-04:002010-04-23T04:08:01.560-04:00

V tagged me for this post over at his blog, Gravity and Fusion. He is a long-time blog friend with exceptional taste in music.Now that I am stuck at home waiting for a phone call to have my meds refilled while enjoying a withdrawal headache, this seemed like a good time.1. first, post these rules2. post 8 random facts about yourself3. write a blogspot about those facts4. tag and name 8 more

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-57760259830706419322007-07-30T13:22:00.000-04:002007-08-11T00:13:21.181-04:00

Well, I had my date. After dinner, I told him I was Mormon and didn't believe in pre-marital sex. It was the right thing to do. He was completely freaked out, shocked and confused. But he wasn't mean to me like the last guy. We talked about it for two or three hours. Then we watched a movie while cuddling and kissing. But I came home fairly certain I'd never hear from him again. (Although,

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-48965833192264580792007-07-25T16:49:00.001-04:002008-11-09T01:03:01.554-05:00

Oh, does JL have a date this weekend? Why, yes she does! Woo hoo. But we aren't going to get too excited yet, because he is not LDS and does not know that she is Mormon and celibate. I don't want to give too many details because I know he is an heavy internet user, but,.... A certain performer whom I inordinately love performed in A.C. last night. Since I had no friends to go with, and I knew

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-45074967747652811032007-07-18T21:23:00.001-04:002010-08-20T15:36:45.456-04:00

Ok. I did expect to get negative feedback on my last post, but I did not expect that much. I am frankly surprised by the hostility. Why does my frustration call for other's fierce reprobation? One even went so far as to blame my singleness on my bad attitude. (Thank you for that, by the way.) So, fine. Let's hear from the rest of you singles. Is my isolation from the family ward a singular

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-6575856723485209722007-07-15T11:59:00.000-04:002010-05-20T13:19:14.950-04:00

No mincing words here. I am fed up. My mother told me last year that there are now more singles than marrieds in the church* (Does anyone know where this stat comes from?). You would never know by looking around on Sunday. Single people tend not to go to church. And I can tell you why. Socially, the church acts as an auxilary for the family, the nuclear family. Who wants to drag themselves out of

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-20715925675583292832007-07-14T18:47:00.001-04:002010-09-08T13:12:57.098-04:00

and open, deep conversations, they get me nowhere, they bring me down so... Yes, I am back to quoting Morrissey. Next week I'm driving down to south to go to the show with my bestest friend in the whole world. Back to more pressing issues. What is it still like to STILL be Celibate in the City? Sigh. Do you ever wonder how it is that you've gone through so much, all the drama, all the work

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-13015341771332683572007-05-21T12:01:00.000-04:002007-05-21T17:26:06.970-04:00

I apologize for the inconvenience. On a side note, I am in the running for a professional blogging job. I will keep you all posted.

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-81681327947714149752007-05-19T19:07:00.001-04:002010-04-25T20:33:00.437-04:00

I'm not dead yet! Despite the silence to the contrary.I needed to retreat into myself. Writing forces too much self-confrontation, this blog was a mirror from which I needed a rest. I actually started doing much better after that last post. My new medication was raised to a level that finally seemed to work. The never-ending obsessions in my mind quieted and then disappeared. So I came back to NY

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-1161312497719332182006-10-19T22:13:00.001-04:002010-05-20T13:19:14.953-04:00

What a deliciously, perfect expressive phrase. My own private idaho. It evokes the solitary valleys and caverns of grief, the resounding echoes of the punishing thoughts that the mourner suffers. My own private Idaho.Remember George? (of Tainted Love fame). I never mourned that loss, I got no closure. Despite the poetic turn of events, I never knew what happened to him, to us, or my ridiculous

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-1150515031255360552006-06-16T23:06:00.000-04:002010-05-20T13:19:14.954-04:00

10. You don't bother making the obligatory scope-out visit to the singles ward in your parent's city. (It's a spanish speaking branch anyway.)9. You have no interest whatsoever in your sibling's single friends. You don't even try to flirt with them when they call on the phone.8. Parts of your body that used to look fine now jiggle. And you don't care.7. Because it is so darn hot here, you

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-1149698151734091872006-06-07T11:23:00.001-04:002010-05-20T13:19:14.955-04:00

I have not read Mr. Webcam's emails yet. I'm guessing the first one is nasty and seething and the second one, which came 2 hours later, is apologetic. Unless he is the type who likes to be punished...then he'll be begging me to marry him. Twice. But based on his high opinion of himself and his disbelief that I didn't want to even look at him, it's not likely he took criticism well. But don't

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-1149528854023018352006-06-05T12:44:00.001-04:002010-04-25T20:12:46.366-04:00

In case you missed his first visit, you can read about it HEREContrary to popular belief, he did contact me again! He sent me an email saying "Hey. Long time no....nothing. How are ya?"Are you kidding me? How could he possibly want to talk to me again or think I wanted to talk to him again? Well, it turns out he is somewhat of a special case. My buddy looked at his profile after I told him the

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-1149259511773693502006-06-02T10:26:00.001-04:002010-04-25T20:30:56.499-04:00

The long time readers of this blog know I have been struggling for awhile now. Struggling to explain what is going wrong with me. For a year and a half I have not been ok. My personality changed. I was no longer able to do my research for school, I suddenly felt stupid and not up to the task. But I stopped caring anyway. I could no longer enjoy anything. Social events became acts of torture

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-1149184667192865622006-06-01T13:44:00.001-04:002010-05-20T13:19:14.955-04:00

Sure, being a single 30 year old virgin woman has its hardships, but it's not all bad. Going to your little sister's wedding as a lonely, dried up pathetic bridesmaid is not the total nightmare that it appears. Why? Because some of us have pushy stepmothers, God bless them! Really.My father and his wife do very well financially. They have some real estate on Miami Beach and just built their

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-1148503278167543862006-05-24T15:14:00.001-04:002010-05-20T13:19:14.956-04:00

From Dictionary.com: (n) the process of converting and expressing a primitive instinctual desire or impulse to a form that is socially or culturally acceptable A few days before I flew to Arizona for my sister's wedding, I went to the grocery store. Not because I needed food, but because I wanted to get out of the house. And grocery shopping is one chore I enjoy. Here's a list of what I bought

JLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10769264710411660303noreply@blogger.com25