tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post657585672348520972..comments2023-10-31T09:56:21.108-04:00Comments on Celibate in the City: The Singles Crisis in the Church: A ManifestoUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-16692551239365979242007-12-02T19:07:00.000-05:002007-12-02T19:07:00.000-05:00lol, i hate singles wards their horrible horrible ...lol, i hate singles wards their horrible horrible institutions but the church is still true down with singles wards.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-87918952110954869902007-08-25T22:12:00.000-04:002007-08-25T22:12:00.000-04:00JL, whomever you are, I commend you in every way f...JL, whomever you are, I commend you in every way for you honesty. <BR/>Recently, a friend and I sent a 22 page letter to the apostles and the <BR/>prophet on this issue. Please email me separately at jlang14@mscd.edu <BR/><BR/>We should talk. <BR/><BR/>As for those of you chastising her for her honesty, you should be <BR/>ashamed of yourselves. I heard that statistic three years ago from the <BRjlang14https://www.blogger.com/profile/15357062886286824867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-16323942395818856562007-08-01T12:28:00.000-04:002007-08-01T12:28:00.000-04:00Sorry I'm late to the party on this one - I'm marr...Sorry I'm late to the party on this one - I'm married and in a family ward, and I hate it. I miss the singles ward, where you are a PERSON and not a statistic. Where RS lessons are geared towared people, not just "motherhood" gahhhh. And I am a mother, by the way. Last week this woman in the lesson talked about how women were so lucky - men have to work and we just get to make babies, yay! IRocketgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01400862841940649312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-5554665383620295502007-07-25T22:50:00.000-04:002007-07-25T22:50:00.000-04:00This post and several of the comments leave me fee...This post and several of the comments leave me feeling sick. Church is not about "us" v.s "them"--"singles" v.s. "marrieds", and that's what a lot of you are making it!! I am single. I am 30, I have been a bridesmaid EIGHT times, and I know how much it sucks to see my friends get married and then try to give me advice on how to do the same. But seriously, is it the married members' faults? Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-25528519880151915282007-07-24T00:44:00.000-04:002007-07-24T00:44:00.000-04:00"When I do go to church, I take the sacrament and ...<I>"When I do go to church, I take the sacrament and then leave."</I><BR/><BR/>That explains why you don't get any callings.Bookslingerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15077778974473538408noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-35645217392545526572007-07-23T22:09:00.000-04:002007-07-23T22:09:00.000-04:00By the way, there's a really great article by Pres...By the way, there's a really great article by President Faust in the August issue of the Ensign addressing many of these issues you're dealing with. Perhaps you should take the article to your bishop and say, "This is how I feel, and this is what President Faust has to say about it."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-81139317361102108112007-07-23T19:33:00.000-04:002007-07-23T19:33:00.000-04:00JL,Wow, your ward and previous bishops clearly let...JL,<BR/><BR/>Wow, your ward and previous bishops clearly let you down big time. (not giving you a calling, not giving you a blessing when *asked*??--they should have done that without asking!!) I guess the only comfort I can give you is that things are NOT that extreme in the wards and stakes I've been in. So the church is true, just not your ward! (kidding!! sort of...)<BR/><BR/>And most of yourAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-23392360705898867942007-07-23T18:51:00.000-04:002007-07-23T18:51:00.000-04:00I've been married for eleven years, but my husband...I've been married for eleven years, but my husband has been basically inactive for the last nine and we can't have kids, so I feel like a virtual single at church. I have no words of wisdom whatsoever, but I do sympathize. It takes everything I have just to show up weekly and do my calling. Church is far and away the loneliest place in my life. I have a recurring fantasy that we all show up and ZD Evehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14571700974648893029noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-87114485154723246832007-07-23T17:00:00.000-04:002007-07-23T17:00:00.000-04:00"Single Gal", why not transfer your records and at..."Single Gal", why not transfer your records and attend the regular family ward where you live, if attending our ward sucks so much. It's a option to be there on our ward as a midsingle, not a complusion.<BR/><BR/>While, I can see where you are coming from on some points, I think your a lot your comments you said on both posts are completely not true or relevant today. <BR/><BR/>Sure the "scene" Matthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16584038076246018559noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-76583988587005770832007-07-22T22:49:00.000-04:002007-07-22T22:49:00.000-04:00I agree that sometimes it's hard to be be a single...I agree that sometimes it's hard to be be a single in the church, and I've been angry about the situation, too. But I don't think that any of your proposed solutions would help any more than women holding the priesthood will help women's in the church who feel left out of leadership.<BR/><BR/>I really feel that by emphasizing the differences between singles and married, by segregating singles Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-80808724365158153212007-07-22T21:48:00.000-04:002007-07-22T21:48:00.000-04:00I am in the ward Matt speaks of and I think it pre...I am in the ward Matt speaks of and I think it pretty much sucks. It is basically a ward within a ward. They cater to the singles instead of the ward as a whole. I am not able to handle going to church very often and am trying to figure out where I will start attending. I feel like I am in the twighlight zone when I go and had to stop in order to stop thinking I was crazy.<BR/><BR/>Many families Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-48784212695047122912007-07-22T20:04:00.000-04:002007-07-22T20:04:00.000-04:00"Every ward should have a calling in the bishopric..."Every ward should have a calling in the bishopric for a single man, who will minister to the needs of single members. He will also voice their needs to the ward leadership, so they will not be left out."<BR/><BR/>A ward should have someone in that position, who is a counselor in the bishopric, btw, and heads a committee. In our ward that includes the relief society president, the bishopric Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-79957327310265609372007-07-21T05:30:00.000-04:002007-07-21T05:30:00.000-04:00There may be change on the horizon in the Church.....There may be change on the horizon in the Church...<BR/><BR/>Here in Huntington Beach,CA and in other stakes in SoCal we have an established "Midsingles" program where all 30-something singles in the stake, all attend the same family ward together. So there's family ward boundaries for families and all 30-something Midsingles in the stake attend as well. So my ward we have over 120 active Matthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16584038076246018559noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-80191964664294704882007-07-20T16:17:00.000-04:002007-07-20T16:17:00.000-04:00JL, my heart goes out to you. I know exactly what ...JL, my heart goes out to you. I know exactly what you mean about wanting to feel like a whole person at church, a full participant.<BR/><BR/>Do you have anywhere you can go where you can feel that? Keep going to church on Sundays, by all means, but maybe you can find some other group to go to in addition to church that will provide the social inclusion and fellowship you seek. Look at meetup.com Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-16688952838950219932007-07-20T10:40:00.000-04:002007-07-20T10:40:00.000-04:00You are right, JL. Church is not supposed to be a...You are right, JL. Church is not supposed to be a painful experience. It's SUPPOSED to be a time to commune with the Lord and to be UPLIFTED by our fellow members. And, that absolutely does not happen for most single people I know at church.<BR/><BR/>And, I absolutely abhor when smug married people say we single people just need to change OUR attitude. Perhaps you, smug married person, need Sparklebothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12152217788781707247noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-21440552875948161052007-07-19T12:11:00.000-04:002007-07-19T12:11:00.000-04:00JL, thanks for being the first commenter on my new...JL, thanks for being the first commenter on my new blog. If what you said in your last comment is true (and I'm not doubting it), then your bishop(s) are seriously failing as shepherds of the flock. It seems so negligent as to be almost callous. I don't know your bishop and so won't speculate about his own personality traits but I wonder if other members of your ward (single or not) experienceArielhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17998788616208049784noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-91608514465863667192007-07-18T21:08:00.000-04:002007-07-18T21:08:00.000-04:00To directly address some of these comments, and de...To directly address some of these comments, and defend myself...<BR/><BR/>I haven't been called as a visiting teacher since I was in a singles ward 6 years ago. I haven't had visiting teachers myself in 3 years. I would love to give and serve, but I haven't had a calling in 4 years, despite having asked multiple bishops for a calling. The last time I was asked to speak in church was 5 years ago.<J.J.https://www.blogger.com/profile/10190264901665391679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-79916196052006940672007-07-18T15:43:00.000-04:002007-07-18T15:43:00.000-04:00Oh E of E,I’m so glad you know how I feel!If only ...Oh E of E,<BR/><BR/>I’m so glad you know how I feel!<BR/><BR/>If only I’d had you to set me right before now. <BR/><BR/>I think it was the “dear” that did it, but suddenly I get it.<BR/><BR/>And what a ninny I am. (thunk) I could have had a Sherri Dew (thunk)<BR/><BR/>Because you’re right. I AM afraid of my potential and what I might, oh just might, be able to offer others.<BR/><BR/>Oh wait. I Jaynee Doehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17608283545498682823noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-49956752796096782722007-07-18T10:53:00.000-04:002007-07-18T10:53:00.000-04:00i don't know where your mom got that statistic, bu...i don't know where your mom got that statistic, but I would disregard it if she can't say exactly where she got it.<BR/><BR/>As for the reason you go to church, it's not all about families dear. The Gospel is set up to bring the individual to Jesus Christ thru the ordinances of salvation--some of those individuals happen to be in families. If you are not attending church you are missing out on Mrs Andyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01737295446780857349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-18440787428853593622007-07-18T01:22:00.000-04:002007-07-18T01:22:00.000-04:00JL, I am in almost complete agreement with what yo...JL, I am in almost complete agreement with what you have said. I quickly grew tired of the way I was treated as a single person. I tried going to a family ward, even though single, in an attempt to take myself out of the rat race and the silliness that is a singles ward. In the end, people were friendly, but they always looked at me funny when I explained what I was doing and I felt like I wasArielhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17998788616208049784noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-21064357399302006252007-07-17T11:47:00.000-04:002007-07-17T11:47:00.000-04:00I was very interested to hear your comments on thi...I was very interested to hear your comments on this subject, as well as everybody's responses. I have been a member for almost two years now and have been overwhelmed by the family I have inherited. I, too, am single, and being a convert, have no easy access to the Priesthood either. While it may seem unfair, I have found that asking for things I need have made me form more of my own identity Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-6162431235002754242007-07-17T00:59:00.000-04:002007-07-17T00:59:00.000-04:00I have no problem with you being angry, but I sure...I have no problem with you being angry, but I sure do have a problem with having talks especially for us singles. They'll be as boring and useless as the talks on child-rearing and marriage-building, but with more embarrassed and embarrassing references to sex. Ugh.<BR/><BR/>Here's my manifesto: Make church shorter! Also, with motorcycles and tigers and wheels of fire!the House of Paynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13410727764741481353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-31427502534048831052007-07-16T21:27:00.000-04:002007-07-16T21:27:00.000-04:00Sorry for this however, I believe that no matter w...Sorry for this however, I believe that no matter what, there is always going to be a big group of morons at church who want to make it their special organization. Whether its married or single or animal lovers or whoever.<BR/><BR/>Having said that, we all learn at church that we have the ability to act and not be acted upon. The key I believe to surviving in a family ward as a single person is Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-1699395316030446832007-07-16T21:13:00.000-04:002007-07-16T21:13:00.000-04:00Thank you to everyone for your helpful comments. T...Thank you to everyone for your helpful comments. <BR/><BR/>To Tim,<BR/>It sounds like you have a great ward. I have asked my bishops, in 3 different wards, to please send me home teachers since I have no access to the priesthood. I asked some of these bishops more than once. I never had one visit. In the last 3 years, I had one visit from relief society sisters. And last year, when I was J.J.https://www.blogger.com/profile/10190264901665391679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6679355.post-10442750840529656382007-07-16T18:01:00.000-04:002007-07-16T18:01:00.000-04:00Sorry, the full link to LDS marriage stats didn't ...Sorry, the full link to LDS marriage stats didn't copy.<BR/><BR/>Try this:<BR/><BR/>Go to:<BR/>www.gc.cuny.edu/index.htm<BR/><BR/>Type in "aris" into the search box in the upper middle right<BR/><BR/>click on the second line of the search result, titled <BR/>[PDF]aris data from 2001<BR/><BR/>Scroll down to page 26.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com